EpicProgress.com - Damage Report February 14th, 2017

EpicProgress.com - Damage Report February 14th, 2017

♪ Come all without, come all within – you’ll not see nothing like the Traitor Flynn. Everybody’s googling, alternative facts and Snopes. Kellyanne’s making-up attacks and Spicer’s mixing up notes. Everybody’s in despair, every girl and boy. But when Flynn the Traitor resigns here, everybody’s gonna jump for joy. Come all without, come all within – you’ll not see nothing like the Traitor Flynn! ♪  Today, your Daily Trump Damage Report for February 14th, 2017.

• Michael Flynn is now the most prominent casualty of the Bowling Green Massacre.  Today, Amerikan General Michael Flynn has resigned as National Security Adviser. He is quoted as saying “I ams to beings sure that this is all huge misunderstandinks” despite the revelation that he may have been using encrypted communication to hide his exchanges with the Russians. From us.

• Russian lawmakers immediately jumped in to trumpet loud support of Michael Flynn, asserting that Flynn’s only offense was being guilty of the “thoughtcrime” of being open to a dialogue with Russia.  A dialogue which may have been encrypted, which he lied about numerous times to the media and to the Vice President, and which contained discussions about lifting sanctions against Russian intelligence placed on them after it was revealed they had interfered directly in causing the election of Trump.

• It is now learned that last month, the acting Attorney General Sally Yates who was fired for refusing to defend the Trump’s Muslim ban, warned the White House that Michael Flynn could be the subject of blackmail by the Russians. She was promptly ignored.  Not only was she ignored in her warning, but others were as well.

• Verbal pulp fiction screecher and Trump termagant Kellyanne Conway is shredded by Joe Scarborough as an out of the loop liar for asserting that Flynn had the full confidence of the President, and a litany of other baseless, reality-averse lies.

• Trump has granted press credentials to a pro-Trump blog. According to Russian journalists who have reported extensively on the methods Putin employs to keep reporting and journalism to a minimum in his authoritarian state, this is precisely the next step in that process.

• Trump has requested 64 guest worker visas for employees at his Mar-a-Lago resort. While Trump was campaigning on bringing jobs back to America, he cut wages for the foreign immigrant workers whom he employs as wait staff and cooks at the resort.

• Soulless Republican Congress-ghoul Jason Chaffetz has decided that investigating the Russian ties and super-forgetful ex-National Security Adviser Michael Flynn, he is going to use his powers to investigate a cartoon character.  See, the CDC has been using a flappy little cartoon character to tell people about the dangers of Zika virus. And that’s just plain awful, considering the Jim Henson Company is doing the production. Chaffetz says he considers the Flynn matter settled. The more pressing business of his investigative committee is what kind of sound the letter “B” makes, and what did Oscar the Grouch know, and when did he know it?

• Foreclosure King and pre-ghostly visit Dickens character Steve Mnuchin was sworn in as Trump’s Treasury Secretary.  

• The Washington Post does an in-depth piece on the torrent of abuse the current White House staff must endure.  Specifically, from Trump.  It turns out a sexual assault-prone oligarchic malignant narcissist without a firm grip on reality or truth is not a pleasant person to work for.

• Republican Congresscritters, emboldened by Trump’s moves to annihilate stability and economic growth in America, would like very much to do away with the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau as well as Dodd-Frank regulation put in place to prevent another derivatives-driven crash. Credit card companies which donate heavily to GOP congressmen are apparently too stymied by burdensome regulations right now, like being required to tell consumers how much the annual fee is, or what the interest rate you are going to pay happens to be, or if you’ve opened an account with them or not.

• The anti-Muslim ban may have had a court stay for the moment, but the courts would very much like to know how the intent to bring it about took place.  Interestingly, for major cases that go before federal courts, the court is enabled to investigate and probe the development of the subject matter.  The results of the probe will hopefully reveal the intent behind Trump’s insistence that national security is at stake, and that this is why we should ban Muslims from entering the country.

• Not surprisingly, no one wants to attend this year’s White House Press Correspondent’s Dinner. Celebrities will not be present, nor will the major news organizations.

• Trump maintains that the real problem with what has been happening lately is not what has been happening in his administration, but rather that what is happening is being reported on.

• Russia secretly deploys a cruise missile in violation of international nuclear treaties. Trump is expected to roll over like a mangy terrier looking for a belly scratch.

• Trump’s White House has posted inaccurate texts of his executive orders on its website.

ORLY-EP0143B - Science! - Musk is boring

ORLY-EP0143B - Science! - Musk is boring

Welcome to ORLYRADIO #143B recorded Friday February 10th, 2017 - where we dismantle the current events for your edutainment through mostly rational conversations that make you go ‘Oh Really’! I’m your host Andy Cowen, with my usual suspects, Stephen Griffith, Amber Biesecker, Fred Sims, and Daniel Atherton and JP.

Audience Feedback From Previous Shows:

We make mistakes. Please, if you find one, pause the podcast, and send us a note. orlyradiopodcast@gmail.com or phone it in 470-222-6759

Science Bitches!  

  1. Tesla built the world's biggest battery power plant in just three months. https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2017-01-30/tesla-s-battery-revolution-just-reached-critical-mass

    1. Elon Musk’s tweets picture of his boring machine: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-4195704/Elon-Musk-tweets-photo-giant-tunnel-boring-machine.html

  2. A metal that conducts electricity, but not heat. http://www.sciencealert.com/physicists-have-found-a-metal-that-conducts-electricity-but-not-heat

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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 United States License, including the music Rocket and Pamgaea created by Kevin MacLeod (www.incompetech.com)

EpicProgress.com - Damage Report February 13th, 2017

EpicProgress.com - Damage Report February 13th, 2017

Nuclear launch codes and other hotel amenities, Canadian handshakes, grammar for Nazis, and high on a hill was a lonely diplomat – layeeodleayy-ee-hoo. Brace for impact, it’s the Daily Trump Damage Report for February 13th, 2017.

• Mediaite reports a random guest at Trump’s Mar-a-Lago resort has had his picture taken with the man responsible for carrying the “football” of America’s nuclear launch codes. This is not the Onion, this is not satire.

• Canada’s Prime Minister and former Disney Prince Justin Trudeau demonstrates precisely how to shake Donald Trump’s hand.  In his efforts, he utilizes several strategies Epic Progress has detailed in the guide recently published “How to Shake Trump’s Hand”.  We strongly recommend other world leaders emulate Canada in this regard, or suffer at the tiny hands of Twitler.

• America’s treasury securities, which are considered by the global market as the most solvent and stable financial trust assets available for purchase – so much so as to warrant founding nearly two-thirds of the Earth’s currencies on the US dollar – are being sold off in bulk by international creditors terrified by Trump’s actions.  A sell-off is currently underway and foreign investors are pulling out of U.S. debt.

• The people most responsible for being aware of and acting on threats of national security and foreign policy, the U.S. National Security Council, is reportedly in chaos thanks to Trump’s bumbling mismanagement and appointment of Russian plaything, Michael Flynn. Leaders of ISIS, already grateful for the recruiting opportunities presented by Trump’s “Blessed” Muslim Ban, could be heard purring “Oh, really? You don’t say. Neat.”

• High Priestess of Apate, the ancient Greek personification of deceit and current White House Spokes-shrew Kellyanne Conway assures America and the media that Michael Flynn has the full confidence of Trump, despite all the lies and frequent communication with Russians about lifting sanctions.

• John Oliver hopes to teach Trump what reality is using the power of television. He is dedicating a portion of his show to teaching Trump how to ask things he may not know.

• To be an ambassador in the Trump administration, at most it takes being obsessed with a movie that takes place in the country in which you wish to be appointed.  In the case of hopeful new ambassador to Austria from the US, Patrick Park, he has seen The Sound of Music 75 times. Do, a thing, America had, before we bought a wall. Fa, a long long way to fall. Ti, a party that votes with Donald Trump.

• Trump lies about Bernie Sanders having his mic cut off during an interview with CNN.  Trump casually lies as frequently as normal people use the restroom, and with similar purpose.

• North Korea conducts missile tests in an effort to get a rise from Trump, and determine what Trump’s policy position will be towards the country.  So far, Trump has not made any indication as to how he will fail the international community on this front.

• Trump no good with spellings. He inauguration poster haves major typos. Misspells the word “too”.  Maybe could ask Zillionaire Amway Heiress now in charge of edukayshun if could do learns to write good.

• Bloomberg has put together a list of the 11 likeliest next targets of Trump’s war on international trade. Sneak Preview: In an interesting twist of fate from the last 8 years, it may be worthwhile investing in those apocalypse garden seeds and gold coins after all.

• The New York Times reports in-depth on the subject of how very much Trump’s own party hates him.Though they feel they’ve made a deal with the devil, and they are desperately willing to overlook the horrors and shame he has, is, and will bring down upon them – provided he continues to push their agenda.

 

EpicProgress.com - Damage Report February 12th, 2017

EpicProgress.com - Damage Report February 12th, 2017

A new Trumpist emerges, scientists not welcome, 57 lies in 23 days, a spy revolt, Streep, Bern, and Franken on the offensive, and too trashy for Kmart.  This is your Sunday edition of the Daily Trump Damage Report for February 12th, 2017. Buckle up.

• Trump senior policy adviser Steven Miller goes bananas in his debut interview, doubling-down on the lie that massive voter fraud took place, and finally asserting, “The end result of this, though, is that our opponents, the media, and the whole world will soon see, as we begin to take further actions, that the powers of the president to protect our country are very substantial, and will not be questioned.”  From initial reviews, he appears to have been reading directly from a script provided to him.  Based on this verbatim quote, we here at Epic Progress expect a version of the Reichstag fire of Germany in 1933 is in the early planning stages, and recommend you plan accordingly.

A US born NASA space scientist was stopped at our borders. He is not permitted to enter the United States until he hands border patrol agents his smartphone, and they demand the access pin.  The scientist in question works for Jet Propulsion Laboratories, and the phone in question contains sensitive access information and was provided to him by JPL.  The border agents detained him until he unlocked his phone.  These invasions of privacy and blatant discriminatory practices are par for the course under Trump and the effects of his executive orders governing travel abroad.

• The Star has assembled a breathless run-down on the 57 largest lies of Donald Trump since he took office 23 days ago. This list does expressly does not include lies from administration spokespersons, nominees, or Press gibbons. Each of these lies issued are not matters of opinion, but rather of recorded fact in the reality we exist in concurrently with each other.  They are not assertions of attitude or opinion as in the phrase “I like blue”, but rather statements of falsehood like “Blue is not a color. I’ve heard from a lot of people, and they tell me blue isn’t a color. Blue has never been a color. If you think blue is a color, you are stupid and wrong and believe fake news and the Big Crayola lobby.”

• A subtle spy revolt is taking place against Trump, as the intelligence community of the United States affirms that the White House under Twitler is leaky, deceitful, and infiltrated by Russia – according to The Observer. “There are pervasive concerns that Trump isn’t paying attention to intelligence.”  Which is an urgent problem that could possibly result in a sizable terror attack taking place in America due to lack of concern.

• Meryl Streep once again scathes the orange menace in a sharp rebuke, vowing to fight the “brownshirts and bots” of his regime in a speech to the Human Rights Campaign.

• Senator Bernie Sanders accurately refers to Trump as a pathological liar on Meet the Press, and via Realtime with Bill Maher, Senator Al Franken informs us that Senators of Trump’s own party have serious misgivings about Trump’s mental stability.  Additionally, based on all evidence available, Trump suffers from malignant narcissistic disorder.

• The GOP Obamacare repeal effort which Trump lauded as a major priority, appears to be headed sharply into the toilet, according to Forbes.  As it turns out, annihilating health care insurance coverage for millions of Americans and restoring pre-existing conditions exceptions will passing a massive tax cut for the extraordinarily wealthy may prove more difficult than initially believed.

• According to a recent survey conducted by the American National Election Studies group conducted in January, Trump supporters believe that they are the victims of discrimination against white people and Christians. These precious, sensitive snowflakes have offered to look the other way while imbuing Trump with as much authoritarian power and latitude with the truth as needed in order to avenge their sense of victimhood.

• Private corporations Sears and Kmart have opted to join with Nordstrom and others in dumping Trump-branded merchandise.  This is not unexpected from the only brand in the world that could be associated with a casinos going bankrupt.

SNL hits it out of the park one more time with Melissa McCarthy returning as Press Monster Sean Spicer and Alec Baldwin taking a court to court in this week’s episode.  Our fingers are crossed in hopes of a Leslie Jordan as Jeff Sessions, Rosie O’Donnell as Steve Bannon, and Christine Baranski as Betsy DeVos.