Topic Tuesday #110 2014/08/26 "The Power of Words"

Over the last couple weeks I have been discussing word use with friends and my children. There are magical words in the world tat when used properly can pander to favorable outcomes, or conversely, get you into some serious trouble.
My 6 year old has become fond of a negative word, "hate". I am trying hard to tell her to save that word for things that are actually worthy of it. Hate is a powerful word. I dare say it is more powerful, properly used, than any obscenity you can imagine. All someone has to do to ruin your day and forever alter your perception of them is to utter a magical incantation. Be careful how you use this, and use it sparingly. Here it is. "I hate, you!"
Thankfully this incantation has not been directed my way, by my offspring. But it could. I want her to know the meaning behind that word and many others. It is hard since the dictionary only give definitions, and not visceral meanings behind words, phrases and colloquialisms.
Take another powerful and clumsily wielded word, "crazy".
To the average person, this is a basic word used to describe something that happened, or possibly the actions and demeanor of another person, or their own actions while getting wild or something along those lines. To those that are suffering mental illness, that word is a label of personal failure. This is unfortunate and perhaps we can attempt to be more sensitive. Some people have decided to own their crazy. They wear it as a badge of distinction and like a calling card.
Here's the thing about words. They all have meanings. The interesting words have a rich history. Derogatory and inflammatory remarks are just words with an idea behind them. The question you have to ask yourself is if being offended matters.
I suggest that it does not matter in the least. If someone tries to get under your skin, if you let them, they win. It was their game, and they made you play and made you lose. Don't play other people's games. Being offended is up to the one that is offended. It does not affect anyone else, unless they have to deal with you while you are offended. It can be hard to let these slights go, but you win their game if you do.
Offending people is a bitter and childish things to do. It makes you a very small person with equally small ideas. That said, I'm sure I have offended people. I don't particularly care about that. Offending a group of people does not concern me, especially when all I am doing is expressing a viewpoint. On a one to one basis, I never want to hurt anyone. I choose my words in ways that remove personal allusions. If you offend the person you are talking to you are no longer having a conversation, you are doing damage control and you fail whatever your mission was.
Elevate your language and respect the individual. But remember, it is up to you to be offended by the power of words.