Topic Tuesday #137 2015/03/03 "Common Ground"

Topic Tuesday #137 2015/03/03 "Common Ground"

In any communication attempt between two individuals a common ground much be achieved before any discourse can be successful. 

As an example of a common failing, take the word "theory". We have established we are speaking English here, at least we have that going for us, now we have to deal with meaning.  

Do you have one or do you just ask Google everything now?

Where do we get our definitions from? 
In most cases, we get them from our circle of influence. Oh you thought I was going to say dictionary? Sadly, no. We learn language at the proverbial apron strings of our parents. Slowly, formal education can supersede incorrect entries in our inbuilt lexicon. More often than not, the cognitive dissonance that this can create usually causes the most trusted source to be adopted, in spite of correctness. In the United States there has been a rash of anti-intellectualism where facts are debated as if they are merely opinions.

Back to the example of "Theory". If we are speaking about the theory of gravity, then we are dealing with a scientific subject. In the logic tree of life, this would be an indicator that we should use the definition that refers to science: "A supposition or a system of ideas intended to explain something, especially one based on general principles independent of the thing to be explained." This implies a valid explanation of a phenomenon.

Seems straight forward enough but what if you are not familiar with the ways science? Then you use this definition: "A set of principles on which the practice of an activity is based. Or an idea used to account for a situation or justify a course of action." This implies that something is unproven or speculative, not a solid understanding of a subject. 

Here we have a dichotomy. What are we to do? We must agree on a definition to continue. We must reach common ground to continue.  

Anytime I have to deal with a situation where the definition of words is the problem, I scramble to rephrase the entire sentiment with other language, grasping at what tenuous understanding may be possible. I'm reminded of a Star Trek TNG episode. Captain Picard was kidnapped by another captain to try to foster diplomatic relations. It was a first contact scenario and though the words were understood by the universal translator, the meaning was lost as Captain Dathon's people communicated through metaphor and shared experiences. 

I guess you had to be there...

Do you have the Cliff's Notes?

Dathon understood that he had to give them common ground; a shared experience that could bridge the distance between their people. 

Translation: Finally the Terran get's it!

Have you encountered a problem with establishing common ground? What did you do to bridge the gap?

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Topic Tuesday #126 2014/12/16 - “Mind the Communication Gap”

Topic Tuesday #126 2014/12/16 - “Mind the Communication Gap”

As you know by now, I am not afraid of hitting uncomfortable topics. This occasionally gets me into awkward situations.

When communicating with other people, there is an ever present issue: the curse of foreknowledge.  You take for granted all the things you know. It seldom occurs to you that the acronym you just used is absolute gibberish to the uninitiated. The work that you did to reach a conclusion that you are now overly comfortable with has slipped your mind, and you naturally presume that everyone else has done the work and come to the same conclusions you have.

This is baloney, of course! But we all do it. It’s part of our psychology. It is an art to navigate the knowledge gaps and sound both intelligent and non-condescending if you do stumble upon a knowledge peer. And the real trick is to do it at the same time, when talking to everyone.

It is easy to fail, especially when dealing with sensitive issues. Even coming to a common ground in conversation to build upon is often wrought with perils. Emotions run hot. Words take on multiple meanings. Imagine unpacking a dead relatives garage with a friend that doesn’t understand that every scrap of garbage is somehow meaningful and is tearing you apart, and it gets worse the further in you dive. A journey fraught with landmines, pitfalls, and mantraps. It takes determination to communicate with someone of a differing point of view.

It is hard, painful, and exhausting.

Sometimes, it isn’t worth it. However… You never know when it will be worth it. So I will continue to spend the energy on unknown hope for communication that transcends the gaps.

Topic Tuesday #114 2014/09/23 "I’d Like to Have an Argument, Please.”

Topic Tuesday #114 2014/09/23 "I’d Like to Have an Argument, Please.”

Continuing my series on language arts, I’d like to have an argument. This is sometimes a difficult proposition. Most ‘normal’ people do not like arguing, and will actively avoid it. BUT we are in the information age. We no longer have to pay one pound for a five minute argument; we have the INTERNET!

To continue quoting Monty Python

M: An argument isn't just contradiction.

O: Well! it CAN be!

M: No it can't!

M: An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.

O: No it isn't!

M: Yes it is! 'tisn't just contradiction.

O: Look, if I *argue* with you, I must take up a contrary position!

M: Yes but it isn't just saying 'no it isn't'.

O: Yes it is!

M: No it isn't!

O: Yes it is!

M: No it isn't!

O: Yes it is!

M: No it ISN'T! Argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of anything the other person says.

O: It is NOT!

M: It is!

Now, the British are long held as the masters of polite conflict, perhaps only matched by the passive aggressiveness of the Amish and the LDS church. Any session of British Parliament is rife with this style of argumentation. It’s great fun to watch and listen to but it’s absolutely worthless beyond a laugh.

“Argument” is actually only a component of a larger enterprise, that of debate. When confronted with a situation that necessitates verbal pugilism, what you absolutely must keep in mind - is your goal. Are you just being contrary? Then carry on as ham fisted as you like… However… If you want to actually win minds, you need to argue with purpose; that takes skill.
This is where all the things you know about talking to people comes into play. All your skills at listening and communicating are taken to task in a real honest argumentative debate. Imagine the fights you had with your parents or classmates or teachers when you were growing up. All the anger that you had versus their stoic and unmoving obviously wrong opinions. Did you listen to their side? Did the focus of the argument get lost with yelling? Did they even have a side or just slam the proverbial door with “BECAUSE I SAID SO!”? This is the end of an attempted argument; sadly, one that neither side could ever hope to win with logic and reason. 

What does a great argument look like? One that works for all parties?

Some key elements of proper conflict resolution consist of:

• Each side stating their case, preferably calmly, rationally, and respectfully, to parties that actively listen to the elements of the case.
• Further clarification is offered when questions warrant such.
• Analysis of positions is accomplished within the individuals.
• Compromise is offered and countered, and re-countered until…
• An equitable resolution is reached for both parties.

There are some problems with the above idyllic example. There are many times that one side is simply wrong, and they refuse to yield their position. Both sides may be in the wrong and a compromise does not bring either party closer to a best case scenario. Seldom does anything have a completely black or white solution. Get used to the grey area and not always getting your way, but try hard to keep your focus. Many arguments have been lost when the topic was changed out from under you. Some people you can’t reach with respectful arguments and you will either need to use a different tactic, or cut your losses and walk away.

Keep Calm and Carry On.

Topic Tuesday #113 2014/09/16 "Originality"

Topic Tuesday #113 2014/09/16 "Originality"

Continuing the theme of language and communication, today let's chat about being original. 

In ye olde times when language was young and the populace was largely illiterate it was remarkably flexible. Words would flow from mouth to ear thus changing the way they sounded the next time they were uttered. By where and whom a phrase was spoken, would inflict the culture of the region on the meaning of the words used. Slowly technology stepped in to slow down the diverging babble. The jeweler Gutenberg and his typeset press made it so language had permanence. Most notable is the Bible. So much of our language today is derived from this tomb that it is easy to reconcile its lasting nature as a cultural cornerstone. Other works followed the scriptures.

Outside of this, as people become slowly more literate, a new concept was born out of an old tradition. Literary license. At the Globe Theatre in London, William Shakespeare (or Christopher Marlowe or  Francis Bacon, if you believe such conspiracies) wrote a volume of work that stands to this day as remarkable. Hit turn of phrase was without match and what really sets him apart in my mind is his inventiveness at creating new words. All in all, he crafted over 1,700 of our modern words. He verbed nouns, turned verbs into adjectives and cobbled together prefixes and suffix that had not business being wedded to prior words. When that failed to suit the needs he would manifest them from nothing and create something wholly original. For some in depth analysis of some of these, browse over to www.shakespeare-online.com/biography/wordscoined.html Some examples of my favorite Shakespearian words, which you might not have known owe their origin to the playwrite and master poet: 

Arouse, Addiction, amazement, bedroom, blushing, circumstantial, champion, dauntless, compromise, eyeball, gossip, gloomy, luggage, jaded, hint, fixture, obscene, laughable, grovel, scuffle, swagger, majestic, mimic, outbreak, radiance, obsequiously, and one of my all time favorites, rant.

The reconstructed Globe Theatre, London.

Obviously not everyone can be so original, but one must also look at the context for how Shakespeare's magic words were seeded into the vox populi. He relied on word of mouth, at the Globe, to spread the words and their meanings to the people, the common people. They entered everyday use rather quickly, being the cool thing to do at the time. It wouldn't take long for that to happen given how quickly our own society parrots whatever the best one liners were from the latest Saturday Night Live or blockbuster flick.In his day, his words were like a virus, and the contagion infected the language and peppers our pages today. He was bold and original and then made permanent in the mind and in print.  

I say this to you, be generous with your words. make then varied and vaulting. If you cannot find a word that fits, MAKE ONE UP! Be original. Make Shakespeare proud.