EpicProgress.com - Damage Report February 14th, 2017

EpicProgress.com - Damage Report February 14th, 2017

♪ Come all without, come all within – you’ll not see nothing like the Traitor Flynn. Everybody’s googling, alternative facts and Snopes. Kellyanne’s making-up attacks and Spicer’s mixing up notes. Everybody’s in despair, every girl and boy. But when Flynn the Traitor resigns here, everybody’s gonna jump for joy. Come all without, come all within – you’ll not see nothing like the Traitor Flynn! ♪  Today, your Daily Trump Damage Report for February 14th, 2017.

• Michael Flynn is now the most prominent casualty of the Bowling Green Massacre.  Today, Amerikan General Michael Flynn has resigned as National Security Adviser. He is quoted as saying “I ams to beings sure that this is all huge misunderstandinks” despite the revelation that he may have been using encrypted communication to hide his exchanges with the Russians. From us.

• Russian lawmakers immediately jumped in to trumpet loud support of Michael Flynn, asserting that Flynn’s only offense was being guilty of the “thoughtcrime” of being open to a dialogue with Russia.  A dialogue which may have been encrypted, which he lied about numerous times to the media and to the Vice President, and which contained discussions about lifting sanctions against Russian intelligence placed on them after it was revealed they had interfered directly in causing the election of Trump.

• It is now learned that last month, the acting Attorney General Sally Yates who was fired for refusing to defend the Trump’s Muslim ban, warned the White House that Michael Flynn could be the subject of blackmail by the Russians. She was promptly ignored.  Not only was she ignored in her warning, but others were as well.

• Verbal pulp fiction screecher and Trump termagant Kellyanne Conway is shredded by Joe Scarborough as an out of the loop liar for asserting that Flynn had the full confidence of the President, and a litany of other baseless, reality-averse lies.

• Trump has granted press credentials to a pro-Trump blog. According to Russian journalists who have reported extensively on the methods Putin employs to keep reporting and journalism to a minimum in his authoritarian state, this is precisely the next step in that process.

• Trump has requested 64 guest worker visas for employees at his Mar-a-Lago resort. While Trump was campaigning on bringing jobs back to America, he cut wages for the foreign immigrant workers whom he employs as wait staff and cooks at the resort.

• Soulless Republican Congress-ghoul Jason Chaffetz has decided that investigating the Russian ties and super-forgetful ex-National Security Adviser Michael Flynn, he is going to use his powers to investigate a cartoon character.  See, the CDC has been using a flappy little cartoon character to tell people about the dangers of Zika virus. And that’s just plain awful, considering the Jim Henson Company is doing the production. Chaffetz says he considers the Flynn matter settled. The more pressing business of his investigative committee is what kind of sound the letter “B” makes, and what did Oscar the Grouch know, and when did he know it?

• Foreclosure King and pre-ghostly visit Dickens character Steve Mnuchin was sworn in as Trump’s Treasury Secretary.  

• The Washington Post does an in-depth piece on the torrent of abuse the current White House staff must endure.  Specifically, from Trump.  It turns out a sexual assault-prone oligarchic malignant narcissist without a firm grip on reality or truth is not a pleasant person to work for.

• Republican Congresscritters, emboldened by Trump’s moves to annihilate stability and economic growth in America, would like very much to do away with the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau as well as Dodd-Frank regulation put in place to prevent another derivatives-driven crash. Credit card companies which donate heavily to GOP congressmen are apparently too stymied by burdensome regulations right now, like being required to tell consumers how much the annual fee is, or what the interest rate you are going to pay happens to be, or if you’ve opened an account with them or not.

• The anti-Muslim ban may have had a court stay for the moment, but the courts would very much like to know how the intent to bring it about took place.  Interestingly, for major cases that go before federal courts, the court is enabled to investigate and probe the development of the subject matter.  The results of the probe will hopefully reveal the intent behind Trump’s insistence that national security is at stake, and that this is why we should ban Muslims from entering the country.

• Not surprisingly, no one wants to attend this year’s White House Press Correspondent’s Dinner. Celebrities will not be present, nor will the major news organizations.

• Trump maintains that the real problem with what has been happening lately is not what has been happening in his administration, but rather that what is happening is being reported on.

• Russia secretly deploys a cruise missile in violation of international nuclear treaties. Trump is expected to roll over like a mangy terrier looking for a belly scratch.

• Trump’s White House has posted inaccurate texts of his executive orders on its website.

EpicProgress.com - Damage Report February 11th, 2017

EpicProgress.com - Damage Report February 11th, 2017

http://www.epicprogress.com/daily-trump-damage-report-2112017/ 

Wall costs like F-35 fighter jets, Congress tweets Twitler in a bid for attention, terror among the civil service, immigrants, and people who just need to use the bathroom. Weekends don’t stop the party in Trumptown. The administration was busy this Saturday, February 11th, 2017.  Here’s your rundown of the horror du’jour.

• Trump will likely be impeached in 2 years, right after mid-terms. Kathleen Parker of the Washington Post lays out the scenario of the pendulum swing, and with things going the way they are now, there will be quite a bit of velocity to it.

• Trump asserts the price of his stupid border wall (which people with ladders or shovels could get around), will come way down once he starts negotiating. “Just like with the F-35 fighter jet” he tweeted, like an idiot who doesn’t know how much the F-35 has cost us might. The F-35 fighter jet has cost the United States of America $1.5 trillion dollars. For context as to how much $1.5 trillion dollars is, you could give every man, woman, and child in the United States $4,687.50. Or, pay off 1/10th of America’s entire public national debt. For the fighter jet the Pentagon didn’t want, and that doesn’t work.

• Congressmen of his own party have taken to attempting to communicate with Trump via Twitter, through “whoever monitors twitter at the WH 4PresTrump”. In other news, the State Department has taken to opening treaty negotiations with the poop emoji.

• The New York Times reports that dread is pervasive in the civil service of the government of the United States under Trump, with many who work in critical departments of our nation fearing for their jobs, their work, and the continuity of the services they provide.

• A Dominican newspaper printed a photo of Alec Baldwin doing his impression of Donald Trump for an article about Trump and Israel.  The SNL Trump is shown scowling with his Russian flag pin prominently affixed to his collar, pictured next to a photo of Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu.

• Anti-immigrant crackdowns are taking place across America due to Trump’s recent executive order expanding categories of immigrants who are now higher priority for roundup and deportation. The families of undocumented workers are huddled in fear, making plans, and trying to figure out how to survive as ICE performs raids in an effort to please Trump. The Statue of Liberty, who previously had cried with silent lips for the wretched refuse of other nations to build up what would become America, could not be reached for comment.

• Today, Rep. Bill Pascrell raised the possibility Epic Progress had alluded to in an earlier Daily Trump Damage Report, of employing a rarely used law to acquire Trump’s tax returns. He has made the request to the chair of the Ways and Means committee, Rep. Kevin Brady of Texas. It is doubtful that Congressman Brady will be surprising us by applying rational thought and acquiring the tax returns for review.

• The Justice Department, now under the guidance of Jeff “Ominous Banjo Music” Sessions, has begun the rollback of equal rights for bathroom usage. Protections allowing transgender students to use the bathroom that matches their gender identity have been removed, resulting in individuals using bathrooms where they clearly do not appear they should be using that bathroom. For some uncertain reason, the Trump administration appears extremely focused on where it is that people should be peeing.

• Rep. Jason Chaffetz, ghoulish Republican congressman who sought to sell our national parks off in bulk last week, said today that he believes the thousands of people who attended his town hall meetings to insist he oppose Trump were brought in by bus from other states and paid to protest. Chaffetz did not give any evidence to support his claim.

• Trump relies upon Gary Cohn, President of Goldman Sachs, to tell him what to do on economic matters. Deregulation in removing all the safety protections put in place after the economic collapse and recession of 2008 figure prominently on his to-do list.

• The White House has issued a denial that it is looking for a replacement for Press Secretary and Melissa McCarthy impersonator, Sean Spicer.  This in spite of media confirmations with White House officials of interviews taking place for the position.

EpicProgress.com - Damage Report February 10th, 2017

EpicProgress.com - Damage Report February 10th, 2017

http://www.epicprogress.com/daily-trump-damage-report-2102017/

Russian entanglements, growing impeachment sentiment, falling American standing, bumbled Japanese diplomacy, kowtowing to China, lies, damned lies, and other Trump statements that strain the fabric of reality in today’s Daily Trump Damage Report for January 10th, 2017.

• Trump’s national security adviser and future convicted felon Michael Flynn had said multiple times that he didn’t discuss sanctions with phone calls to the Russians before the inauguration. He told the Vice President this as well, who repeated that Michael Flynn did not discuss the sanctions against Russia on the phone call. It turns out, he did.

• Trump discovers governmenting is harder than running frequently bankrupted businesses. Trump allies assert that he has been surprised that government can’t be run like a business.

• Organized citizens enraged at a lack of holding Trump accountable swarm congress critters at town halls in traditionally conservative strongholds states demanding that they do their job. Massive showings at local congressional offices and public events have risen sharply over the past 24 hours, taking place in UtahGeorgia, and other red states.

• Americans are now evenly divided 46% to 46% on impeaching Trump according to a new poll by PPP. 53% disapprove of him. Horrifyingly, 51% of remaining Trump supporters say the Bowling Green Massacre is justification for Trump’s anti-immigration policy. Note: The Bowling Green Massacre is not a real thing that happened in our timeline.

• Heiress to the Amway pyramid scheme and current Secretary of Education Betsy DeVoss was blocked from entering a school she would prefer to destroy through privatization. She was later soundly mocked on Twitter for not knowing where the pencils are.

• According to Gallup, Americans see our world standing as sharply reduced since the Trump administration began doing what it has been doing, with 57% believing the world now sees America unfavorably.

• Trump capitulates to China in negotiations with President Xi, embracing the One China policy and ignoring a violation of Japanese waters.

• Jared Kushner, son-in-law of the ruling American oligarch Donald Trump, worked with the Mexican ex-foreign minister to soften the language of the his father in law on the subject of the wall. We encourage you to resist the urge to be grateful that a family member of the head of state who is not an elected or appointed official in any capacity is tempering policy outcomes on a geopolitical level.

• The Parliament of the United Kingdom will not permit Trump to address them during his planned visit, because of the things Trump does and says.

• Intelligence agency investigators now corroborate items from the dossier on Trump. The contents of the dossier on Trump include references to video taped experiences between Trump and prostitutes on the Russian intelligence agency payroll during his stays at Russian intelligence-controlled hotels.

• Trump has received very little in the way of critical reporting from the Wall Street Journal, due largely to the influence of owner Rupert Murdoch and the editor-in-chief.  This has precipitated significant discontent from reporters, which is now being made public.

• Russia is considering giving Edward Snowden to Trump as a “gift” to procure favor from him, according to U.S. intelligence sources. This tells us that Snowden did not collaborate with Russian intelligence, and that Russian intelligence trusts Trump enough to voluntarily gift him with a spy.

• Trump repeats the lie about voter fraud again, this time in front of a room full of Senators. Trump, nor the individuals he has referenced as having proof, have ever provided any evidence of voter fraud taking place.

• Trump shook hands with the Japanese Prime Minister. Visually, it was a cringe-inducing thing to observe, as he held the Prime Minister’s hand for 19 seconds while the Prime Minister did his level best to not look as though he were gripping a small, wet Ziploc bag filled with mashed potatoes. After the direct contact had ended, the Prime Minister was unable to resist rolling his eyes in veiled exasperation at the extraordinarily awkward handshake.

EpicProgress.com - Damage Report February 9th, 2017

Happy Nazis, Trickledown 2.0 (The Moistening), wall costs, unbelievable White House product sponsorship opportunities, and which minority is next on the hit list? All this and more in today’s Daily Trump Damage Report for Thursday, February 9th, 2017.

• Trump feels strongly that the state should be able to take all of your property without having a criminal conviction. At a meeting with Sheriffs, the orange menace espoused a penchant for making civil forfeiture easier, while simultaneously indicating that he doesn’t understand what it is.

• White Nationalists are extremely invigorated and excited by the successful nomination of Jeff “Klampet Keebler” Sessions. White power online news sites and prominent KKK Grand Wizard and former Republican candidate David Duke hailed Sessions becoming the nation’s new Attorney General as a great step forward, in hopes that the Justice Department will begin targeting “thugs and illegals” – not-so-dog-whistle dog whistles.

• Trump hypes a “phenomenal” tax package coming in a few weeks, offering no details. We do not need the details to know that it will offer a gargantuan tax cut to the richest 100 families in America, a sizable tax cut to the upper 3%, a rounding error of a tax cut to anyone making less than $200k a year, and lastly is formulated to bankrupt and default the United States government within 4 years.

• Trump’s border wall is now expected to cost $21.6 billion in non-alternative fact dollars, and take 3.5 years to build. For the same cost, America could purchase a measles vaccine for every child on the planet, buy two USS Ford aircraft carriers, purchase the planet’s music industry, buy Iceland with enough money left to plop 7 Burj Kalifa skyscrapers on it. Net migration from Mexico was 0 for the past several years.

• Inspiration for Disturbed’s rendition of the Sound of Silence and current White House adviser Steve Bannon would like you to very much know he is super-duper friends with Reince Priebus and would never, ever stab him in the back to save himself from the ire of Trump.

• Trump’s Supreme Court nominee Gorsuch’s anti-Trump comments may help him succeed in making it to the bench, which call into question whether or not this was the whole point of the comments.

• John McCain schools Trump’s perpetually humiliated press deceiver, Sean Spicer.

• The chief information security officer at the White House has been removed, and we are not sure if he was fired or resigned. No comment has been issued as to whether or not a replacement has taken over. Trump and staff continue to use unsecured email servers and unsecured smartphones proving that he is significantly dumber and more careless than he ever accused Hillary Clinton of being.

• CNN’s host Chris Cuomo says that being called “fake news” is the journalist equivalent of the “n” word. It isn’t. He apologizes later. Trump and surrogates will use the mistake to raise the blood pressure of the authoritarians who empowered them.

• Why is the White House Press Corps not asking about Trump being owned by Russia, or the corruption surrounding their intelligence agencies activities on Trump’s behalf?

• In Trump’s’ call with Vladimir Putin, he did not know what the START nuclear deployment treaty was. Told, he said he did not like it. He then said he was like, popular, and stuff.

• A federal appeals court bodyslammed Trump’s Muslim ban, and reminded the White House counsel that they do not have power to interpret law or executive orders.

• Fourth broken seal of the actual apocalypse and singular incarnation of the abstract concept of falsehood, Kellyanne Conway breaks a pile of ethics rules by telling people to “go buy Ivanka’s stuff!”, using the office of the President to hawk the shoddy Chinese-made merchandise of the spoiled orange oligarch’s daughter.

• Chuck Cooper withdraws from consideration for Trump’s next solicitor general, leaving the door open for the nomination of Kellyanne Conway’s husband, George Conway. The solicitor general is responsible for arguing the US government’s case before the Supreme Court. Conway has only ever argued once before the Supreme Court. George, a monster befitting the spouse of Kellyanne, represented murder-product producer tobacco giant Philip Morris.

• First they came for the Muslims.  Next, they came for the Mexicans, and Trump is now preparing a vicious deportation executive order.

• Trump signs three new sweeping executive orders on law enforcement. In it, he directs Sessions to figure out how to maximize punishments for non-violent drug offenders and use actions he seems necessary to guard against cartels which “are destroying the blood of our youth and other people.”

• An insider continues to reveal the secretive goings on inside the Trump White House, demonstrating that Trump likes his administration the way he likes his women – funded by Russian intelligence and prone to leaking.