Senate Mean Girls Graham & McCain on the offense, pro-robot cabinet appointees, Russian to know who knew what and when, and tough times for Sorry Spice in today’s Daily Trump Damage Report. Here’s all the god-awful Trump news for February 15th, 2017.
See the full update and all associated articles here: http://www.epicprogress.com/trump-damage-report-2152017/
♪ Come all without, come all within – you’ll not see nothing like the Traitor Flynn. Everybody’s googling, alternative facts and Snopes. Kellyanne’s making-up attacks and Spicer’s mixing up notes. Everybody’s in despair, every girl and boy. But when Flynn the Traitor resigns here, everybody’s gonna jump for joy. Come all without, come all within – you’ll not see nothing like the Traitor Flynn! ♪ Today, your Daily Trump Damage Report for February 14th, 2017.
• Michael Flynn is now the most prominent casualty of the Bowling Green Massacre. Today, Amerikan General Michael Flynn has resigned as National Security Adviser. He is quoted as saying “I ams to beings sure that this is all huge misunderstandinks” despite the revelation that he may have been using encrypted communication to hide his exchanges with the Russians. From us.
• Russian lawmakers immediately jumped in to trumpet loud support of Michael Flynn, asserting that Flynn’s only offense was being guilty of the “thoughtcrime” of being open to a dialogue with Russia. A dialogue which may have been encrypted, which he lied about numerous times to the media and to the Vice President, and which contained discussions about lifting sanctions against Russian intelligence placed on them after it was revealed they had interfered directly in causing the election of Trump.
• It is now learned that last month, the acting Attorney General Sally Yates who was fired for refusing to defend the Trump’s Muslim ban, warned the White House that Michael Flynn could be the subject of blackmail by the Russians. She was promptly ignored. Not only was she ignored in her warning, but others were as well.
• Verbal pulp fiction screecher and Trump termagant Kellyanne Conway is shredded by Joe Scarborough as an out of the loop liar for asserting that Flynn had the full confidence of the President, and a litany of other baseless, reality-averse lies.
• Trump has granted press credentials to a pro-Trump blog. According to Russian journalists who have reported extensively on the methods Putin employs to keep reporting and journalism to a minimum in his authoritarian state, this is precisely the next step in that process.
• Trump has requested 64 guest worker visas for employees at his Mar-a-Lago resort. While Trump was campaigning on bringing jobs back to America, he cut wages for the foreign immigrant workers whom he employs as wait staff and cooks at the resort.
• Soulless Republican Congress-ghoul Jason Chaffetz has decided that investigating the Russian ties and super-forgetful ex-National Security Adviser Michael Flynn, he is going to use his powers to investigate a cartoon character. See, the CDC has been using a flappy little cartoon character to tell people about the dangers of Zika virus. And that’s just plain awful, considering the Jim Henson Company is doing the production. Chaffetz says he considers the Flynn matter settled. The more pressing business of his investigative committee is what kind of sound the letter “B” makes, and what did Oscar the Grouch know, and when did he know it?
• Foreclosure King and pre-ghostly visit Dickens character Steve Mnuchin was sworn in as Trump’s Treasury Secretary.
• The Washington Post does an in-depth piece on the torrent of abuse the current White House staff must endure. Specifically, from Trump. It turns out a sexual assault-prone oligarchic malignant narcissist without a firm grip on reality or truth is not a pleasant person to work for.
• Republican Congresscritters, emboldened by Trump’s moves to annihilate stability and economic growth in America, would like very much to do away with the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau as well as Dodd-Frank regulation put in place to prevent another derivatives-driven crash. Credit card companies which donate heavily to GOP congressmen are apparently too stymied by burdensome regulations right now, like being required to tell consumers how much the annual fee is, or what the interest rate you are going to pay happens to be, or if you’ve opened an account with them or not.
• The anti-Muslim ban may have had a court stay for the moment, but the courts would very much like to know how the intent to bring it about took place. Interestingly, for major cases that go before federal courts, the court is enabled to investigate and probe the development of the subject matter. The results of the probe will hopefully reveal the intent behind Trump’s insistence that national security is at stake, and that this is why we should ban Muslims from entering the country.
• Not surprisingly, no one wants to attend this year’s White House Press Correspondent’s Dinner. Celebrities will not be present, nor will the major news organizations.
• Trump maintains that the real problem with what has been happening lately is not what has been happening in his administration, but rather that what is happening is being reported on.
• Russia secretly deploys a cruise missile in violation of international nuclear treaties. Trump is expected to roll over like a mangy terrier looking for a belly scratch.
• Trump’s White House has posted inaccurate texts of his executive orders on its website.
Nuclear launch codes and other hotel amenities, Canadian handshakes, grammar for Nazis, and high on a hill was a lonely diplomat – layeeodleayy-ee-hoo. Brace for impact, it’s the Daily Trump Damage Report for February 13th, 2017.
• Mediaite reports a random guest at Trump’s Mar-a-Lago resort has had his picture taken with the man responsible for carrying the “football” of America’s nuclear launch codes. This is not the Onion, this is not satire.
• Canada’s Prime Minister and former Disney Prince Justin Trudeau demonstrates precisely how to shake Donald Trump’s hand. In his efforts, he utilizes several strategies Epic Progress has detailed in the guide recently published “How to Shake Trump’s Hand”. We strongly recommend other world leaders emulate Canada in this regard, or suffer at the tiny hands of Twitler.
• America’s treasury securities, which are considered by the global market as the most solvent and stable financial trust assets available for purchase – so much so as to warrant founding nearly two-thirds of the Earth’s currencies on the US dollar – are being sold off in bulk by international creditors terrified by Trump’s actions. A sell-off is currently underway and foreign investors are pulling out of U.S. debt.
• The people most responsible for being aware of and acting on threats of national security and foreign policy, the U.S. National Security Council, is reportedly in chaos thanks to Trump’s bumbling mismanagement and appointment of Russian plaything, Michael Flynn. Leaders of ISIS, already grateful for the recruiting opportunities presented by Trump’s “Blessed” Muslim Ban, could be heard purring “Oh, really? You don’t say. Neat.”
• High Priestess of Apate, the ancient Greek personification of deceit and current White House Spokes-shrew Kellyanne Conway assures America and the media that Michael Flynn has the full confidence of Trump, despite all the lies and frequent communication with Russians about lifting sanctions.
• John Oliver hopes to teach Trump what reality is using the power of television. He is dedicating a portion of his show to teaching Trump how to ask things he may not know.
• To be an ambassador in the Trump administration, at most it takes being obsessed with a movie that takes place in the country in which you wish to be appointed. In the case of hopeful new ambassador to Austria from the US, Patrick Park, he has seen The Sound of Music 75 times. Do, a thing, America had, before we bought a wall. Fa, a long long way to fall. Ti, a party that votes with Donald Trump.
• Trump lies about Bernie Sanders having his mic cut off during an interview with CNN. Trump casually lies as frequently as normal people use the restroom, and with similar purpose.
• North Korea conducts missile tests in an effort to get a rise from Trump, and determine what Trump’s policy position will be towards the country. So far, Trump has not made any indication as to how he will fail the international community on this front.
• Trump no good with spellings. He inauguration poster haves major typos. Misspells the word “too”. Maybe could ask Zillionaire Amway Heiress now in charge of edukayshun if could do learns to write good.
• Bloomberg has put together a list of the 11 likeliest next targets of Trump’s war on international trade. Sneak Preview: In an interesting twist of fate from the last 8 years, it may be worthwhile investing in those apocalypse garden seeds and gold coins after all.
• The New York Times reports in-depth on the subject of how very much Trump’s own party hates him.Though they feel they’ve made a deal with the devil, and they are desperately willing to overlook the horrors and shame he has, is, and will bring down upon them – provided he continues to push their agenda.
Happy Nazis, Trickledown 2.0 (The Moistening), wall costs, unbelievable White House product sponsorship opportunities, and which minority is next on the hit list? All this and more in today’s Daily Trump Damage Report for Thursday, February 9th, 2017.
• Trump feels strongly that the state should be able to take all of your property without having a criminal conviction. At a meeting with Sheriffs, the orange menace espoused a penchant for making civil forfeiture easier, while simultaneously indicating that he doesn’t understand what it is.
• White Nationalists are extremely invigorated and excited by the successful nomination of Jeff “Klampet Keebler” Sessions. White power online news sites and prominent KKK Grand Wizard and former Republican candidate David Duke hailed Sessions becoming the nation’s new Attorney General as a great step forward, in hopes that the Justice Department will begin targeting “thugs and illegals” – not-so-dog-whistle dog whistles.
• Trump hypes a “phenomenal” tax package coming in a few weeks, offering no details. We do not need the details to know that it will offer a gargantuan tax cut to the richest 100 families in America, a sizable tax cut to the upper 3%, a rounding error of a tax cut to anyone making less than $200k a year, and lastly is formulated to bankrupt and default the United States government within 4 years.
• Trump’s border wall is now expected to cost $21.6 billion in non-alternative fact dollars, and take 3.5 years to build. For the same cost, America could purchase a measles vaccine for every child on the planet, buy two USS Ford aircraft carriers, purchase the planet’s music industry, buy Iceland with enough money left to plop 7 Burj Kalifa skyscrapers on it. Net migration from Mexico was 0 for the past several years.
• Inspiration for Disturbed’s rendition of the Sound of Silence and current White House adviser Steve Bannon would like you to very much know he is super-duper friends with Reince Priebus and would never, ever stab him in the back to save himself from the ire of Trump.
• Trump’s Supreme Court nominee Gorsuch’s anti-Trump comments may help him succeed in making it to the bench, which call into question whether or not this was the whole point of the comments.
• John McCain schools Trump’s perpetually humiliated press deceiver, Sean Spicer.
• The chief information security officer at the White House has been removed, and we are not sure if he was fired or resigned. No comment has been issued as to whether or not a replacement has taken over. Trump and staff continue to use unsecured email servers and unsecured smartphones proving that he is significantly dumber and more careless than he ever accused Hillary Clinton of being.
• CNN’s host Chris Cuomo says that being called “fake news” is the journalist equivalent of the “n” word. It isn’t. He apologizes later. Trump and surrogates will use the mistake to raise the blood pressure of the authoritarians who empowered them.
• Why is the White House Press Corps not asking about Trump being owned by Russia, or the corruption surrounding their intelligence agencies activities on Trump’s behalf?
• In Trump’s’ call with Vladimir Putin, he did not know what the START nuclear deployment treaty was. Told, he said he did not like it. He then said he was like, popular, and stuff.
• A federal appeals court bodyslammed Trump’s Muslim ban, and reminded the White House counsel that they do not have power to interpret law or executive orders.
• Fourth broken seal of the actual apocalypse and singular incarnation of the abstract concept of falsehood, Kellyanne Conway breaks a pile of ethics rules by telling people to “go buy Ivanka’s stuff!”, using the office of the President to hawk the shoddy Chinese-made merchandise of the spoiled orange oligarch’s daughter.
• Chuck Cooper withdraws from consideration for Trump’s next solicitor general, leaving the door open for the nomination of Kellyanne Conway’s husband, George Conway. The solicitor general is responsible for arguing the US government’s case before the Supreme Court. Conway has only ever argued once before the Supreme Court. George, a monster befitting the spouse of Kellyanne, represented murder-product producer tobacco giant Philip Morris.
• First they came for the Muslims. Next, they came for the Mexicans, and Trump is now preparing a vicious deportation executive order.
• Trump signs three new sweeping executive orders on law enforcement. In it, he directs Sessions to figure out how to maximize punishments for non-violent drug offenders and use actions he seems necessary to guard against cartels which “are destroying the blood of our youth and other people.”
• An insider continues to reveal the secretive goings on inside the Trump White House, demonstrating that Trump likes his administration the way he likes his women – funded by Russian intelligence and prone to leaking.