EpicProgress.com - Damage Report February 12th, 2017

EpicProgress.com - Damage Report February 12th, 2017

A new Trumpist emerges, scientists not welcome, 57 lies in 23 days, a spy revolt, Streep, Bern, and Franken on the offensive, and too trashy for Kmart.  This is your Sunday edition of the Daily Trump Damage Report for February 12th, 2017. Buckle up.

• Trump senior policy adviser Steven Miller goes bananas in his debut interview, doubling-down on the lie that massive voter fraud took place, and finally asserting, “The end result of this, though, is that our opponents, the media, and the whole world will soon see, as we begin to take further actions, that the powers of the president to protect our country are very substantial, and will not be questioned.”  From initial reviews, he appears to have been reading directly from a script provided to him.  Based on this verbatim quote, we here at Epic Progress expect a version of the Reichstag fire of Germany in 1933 is in the early planning stages, and recommend you plan accordingly.

• A US born NASA space scientist was stopped at our borders. He is not permitted to enter the United States until he hands border patrol agents his smartphone, and they demand the access pin.  The scientist in question works for Jet Propulsion Laboratories, and the phone in question contains sensitive access information and was provided to him by JPL.  The border agents detained him until he unlocked his phone.  These invasions of privacy and blatant discriminatory practices are par for the course under Trump and the effects of his executive orders governing travel abroad.

• The Star has assembled a breathless run-down on the 57 largest lies of Donald Trump since he took office 23 days ago. This list does expressly does not include lies from administration spokespersons, nominees, or Press gibbons. Each of these lies issued are not matters of opinion, but rather of recorded fact in the reality we exist in concurrently with each other.  They are not assertions of attitude or opinion as in the phrase “I like blue”, but rather statements of falsehood like “Blue is not a color. I’ve heard from a lot of people, and they tell me blue isn’t a color. Blue has never been a color. If you think blue is a color, you are stupid and wrong and believe fake news and the Big Crayola lobby.”

• A subtle spy revolt is taking place against Trump, as the intelligence community of the United States affirms that the White House under Twitler is leaky, deceitful, and infiltrated by Russia – according to The Observer. “There are pervasive concerns that Trump isn’t paying attention to intelligence.”  Which is an urgent problem that could possibly result in a sizable terror attack taking place in America due to lack of concern.

• Meryl Streep once again scathes the orange menace in a sharp rebuke, vowing to fight the “brownshirts and bots” of his regime in a speech to the Human Rights Campaign.

• Senator Bernie Sanders accurately refers to Trump as a pathological liar on Meet the Press, and via Realtime with Bill Maher, Senator Al Franken informs us that Senators of Trump’s own party have serious misgivings about Trump’s mental stability.  Additionally, based on all evidence available, Trump suffers from malignant narcissistic disorder.

• The GOP Obamacare repeal effort which Trump lauded as a major priority, appears to be headed sharply into the toilet, according to Forbes.  As it turns out, annihilating health care insurance coverage for millions of Americans and restoring pre-existing conditions exceptions will passing a massive tax cut for the extraordinarily wealthy may prove more difficult than initially believed.

• According to a recent survey conducted by the American National Election Studies group conducted in January, Trump supporters believe that they are the victims of discrimination against white people and Christians. These precious, sensitive snowflakes have offered to look the other way while imbuing Trump with as much authoritarian power and latitude with the truth as needed in order to avenge their sense of victimhood.

• Private corporations Sears and Kmart have opted to join with Nordstrom and others in dumping Trump-branded merchandise.  This is not unexpected from the only brand in the world that could be associated with a casinos going bankrupt.

• SNL hits it out of the park one more time with Melissa McCarthy returning as Press Monster Sean Spicer and Alec Baldwin taking a court to court in this week’s episode.  Our fingers are crossed in hopes of a Leslie Jordan as Jeff Sessions, Rosie O’Donnell as Steve Bannon, and Christine Baranski as Betsy DeVos.

EpicProgress.com - Damage Report February 10th, 2017

EpicProgress.com - Damage Report February 10th, 2017

http://www.epicprogress.com/daily-trump-damage-report-2102017/

Russian entanglements, growing impeachment sentiment, falling American standing, bumbled Japanese diplomacy, kowtowing to China, lies, damned lies, and other Trump statements that strain the fabric of reality in today’s Daily Trump Damage Report for January 10th, 2017.

• Trump’s national security adviser and future convicted felon Michael Flynn had said multiple times that he didn’t discuss sanctions with phone calls to the Russians before the inauguration. He told the Vice President this as well, who repeated that Michael Flynn did not discuss the sanctions against Russia on the phone call. It turns out, he did.

• Trump discovers governmenting is harder than running frequently bankrupted businesses. Trump allies assert that he has been surprised that government can’t be run like a business.

• Organized citizens enraged at a lack of holding Trump accountable swarm congress critters at town halls in traditionally conservative strongholds states demanding that they do their job. Massive showings at local congressional offices and public events have risen sharply over the past 24 hours, taking place in Utah, Georgia, and other red states.

• Americans are now evenly divided 46% to 46% on impeaching Trump according to a new poll by PPP. 53% disapprove of him. Horrifyingly, 51% of remaining Trump supporters say the Bowling Green Massacre is justification for Trump’s anti-immigration policy. Note: The Bowling Green Massacre is not a real thing that happened in our timeline.

• Heiress to the Amway pyramid scheme and current Secretary of Education Betsy DeVoss was blocked from entering a school she would prefer to destroy through privatization. She was later soundly mocked on Twitter for not knowing where the pencils are.

• According to Gallup, Americans see our world standing as sharply reduced since the Trump administration began doing what it has been doing, with 57% believing the world now sees America unfavorably.

• Trump capitulates to China in negotiations with President Xi, embracing the One China policy and ignoring a violation of Japanese waters.

• Jared Kushner, son-in-law of the ruling American oligarch Donald Trump, worked with the Mexican ex-foreign minister to soften the language of the his father in law on the subject of the wall. We encourage you to resist the urge to be grateful that a family member of the head of state who is not an elected or appointed official in any capacity is tempering policy outcomes on a geopolitical level.

• The Parliament of the United Kingdom will not permit Trump to address them during his planned visit, because of the things Trump does and says.

• Intelligence agency investigators now corroborate items from the dossier on Trump. The contents of the dossier on Trump include references to video taped experiences between Trump and prostitutes on the Russian intelligence agency payroll during his stays at Russian intelligence-controlled hotels.

• Trump has received very little in the way of critical reporting from the Wall Street Journal, due largely to the influence of owner Rupert Murdoch and the editor-in-chief.  This has precipitated significant discontent from reporters, which is now being made public.

• Russia is considering giving Edward Snowden to Trump as a “gift” to procure favor from him, according to U.S. intelligence sources. This tells us that Snowden did not collaborate with Russian intelligence, and that Russian intelligence trusts Trump enough to voluntarily gift him with a spy.

• Trump repeats the lie about voter fraud again, this time in front of a room full of Senators. Trump, nor the individuals he has referenced as having proof, have ever provided any evidence of voter fraud taking place.

• Trump shook hands with the Japanese Prime Minister. Visually, it was a cringe-inducing thing to observe, as he held the Prime Minister’s hand for 19 seconds while the Prime Minister did his level best to not look as though he were gripping a small, wet Ziploc bag filled with mashed potatoes. After the direct contact had ended, the Prime Minister was unable to resist rolling his eyes in veiled exasperation at the extraordinarily awkward handshake.

EpicProgress.com - Damage Report February 9th, 2017

http://www.epicprogress.com/daily-trump-damage-report-292017/

Happy Nazis, Trickledown 2.0 (The Moistening), wall costs, unbelievable White House product sponsorship opportunities, and which minority is next on the hit list? All this and more in today’s Daily Trump Damage Report for Thursday, February 9th, 2017.

• Trump feels strongly that the state should be able to take all of your property without having a criminal conviction. At a meeting with Sheriffs, the orange menace espoused a penchant for making civil forfeiture easier, while simultaneously indicating that he doesn’t understand what it is.

• White Nationalists are extremely invigorated and excited by the successful nomination of Jeff “Klampet Keebler” Sessions. White power online news sites and prominent KKK Grand Wizard and former Republican candidate David Duke hailed Sessions becoming the nation’s new Attorney General as a great step forward, in hopes that the Justice Department will begin targeting “thugs and illegals” – not-so-dog-whistle dog whistles.

• Trump hypes a “phenomenal” tax package coming in a few weeks, offering no details. We do not need the details to know that it will offer a gargantuan tax cut to the richest 100 families in America, a sizable tax cut to the upper 3%, a rounding error of a tax cut to anyone making less than $200k a year, and lastly is formulated to bankrupt and default the United States government within 4 years.

• Trump’s border wall is now expected to cost $21.6 billion in non-alternative fact dollars, and take 3.5 years to build. For the same cost, America could purchase a measles vaccine for every child on the planet, buy two USS Ford aircraft carriers, purchase the planet’s music industry, buy Iceland with enough money left to plop 7 Burj Kalifa skyscrapers on it. Net migration from Mexico was 0 for the past several years.

• Inspiration for Disturbed’s rendition of the Sound of Silence and current White House adviser Steve Bannon would like you to very much know he is super-duper friends with Reince Priebus and would never, ever stab him in the back to save himself from the ire of Trump.

• Trump’s Supreme Court nominee Gorsuch’s anti-Trump comments may help him succeed in making it to the bench, which call into question whether or not this was the whole point of the comments.

• John McCain schools Trump’s perpetually humiliated press deceiver, Sean Spicer.

• The chief information security officer at the White House has been removed, and we are not sure if he was fired or resigned. No comment has been issued as to whether or not a replacement has taken over. Trump and staff continue to use unsecured email servers and unsecured smartphones proving that he is significantly dumber and more careless than he ever accused Hillary Clinton of being.

• CNN’s host Chris Cuomo says that being called “fake news” is the journalist equivalent of the “n” word. It isn’t. He apologizes later. Trump and surrogates will use the mistake to raise the blood pressure of the authoritarians who empowered them.

• Why is the White House Press Corps not asking about Trump being owned by Russia, or the corruption surrounding their intelligence agencies activities on Trump’s behalf?

• In Trump’s’ call with Vladimir Putin, he did not know what the START nuclear deployment treaty was. Told, he said he did not like it. He then said he was like, popular, and stuff.

• A federal appeals court bodyslammed Trump’s Muslim ban, and reminded the White House counsel that they do not have power to interpret law or executive orders.

• Fourth broken seal of the actual apocalypse and singular incarnation of the abstract concept of falsehood, Kellyanne Conway breaks a pile of ethics rules by telling people to “go buy Ivanka’s stuff!”, using the office of the President to hawk the shoddy Chinese-made merchandise of the spoiled orange oligarch’s daughter.

• Chuck Cooper withdraws from consideration for Trump’s next solicitor general, leaving the door open for the nomination of Kellyanne Conway’s husband, George Conway. The solicitor general is responsible for arguing the US government’s case before the Supreme Court. Conway has only ever argued once before the Supreme Court. George, a monster befitting the spouse of Kellyanne, represented murder-product producer tobacco giant Philip Morris.

• First they came for the Muslims.  Next, they came for the Mexicans, and Trump is now preparing a vicious deportation executive order.

• Trump signs three new sweeping executive orders on law enforcement. In it, he directs Sessions to figure out how to maximize punishments for non-violent drug offenders and use actions he seems necessary to guard against cartels which “are destroying the blood of our youth and other people.”

• An insider continues to reveal the secretive goings on inside the Trump White House, demonstrating that Trump likes his administration the way he likes his women – funded by Russian intelligence and prone to leaking.

EpicProgress.com - Damage Report February 8th, 2017

http://www.epicprogress.com/daily-trump-damage-report-282017/ 

Here is your recap of the ongoing catastrophe and biomedical waste dumpster fire that is the Trump administration.

• Trump’s nominee for Attorney General, Jeffrey Beauregard Sessions, has been confirmed. Sessions opposed civil rights, was against prosecuting lynchings, and is what you might envision an Alabama Senator to be like if you closed your eyes and imagined the worst, most stereotypical Alabama Senator.

• In opposition to naming Jeff “Ominous Banjo Music” Sessions Attorney General, Senator Elizabeth Warren wanted to read a letter from the late wife of Martin Luther King Jr. She was silenced on the floor of the Senate. She was told to keep quiet. Nevertheless, she persisted.

• Trump lashed out at a private company for deciding to drop a product based on a lack of sales. The product in question was profiting his daughter, Ivanka. He decided to use the power of his office to attack the company in the interest of the financial stakes of his daughter.

• Spicey Boy, his press goon, immediately informed us that the private company seeking to drop a product for sale that was marketed as the personal line of Trump’s daughter was, in fact, a direct attack on the President.

• Trump’s nominee for Supreme Court, Gorsuch, finds Trump’s tweets about the judicial branch to be disheartening. We agree with Mr. Gorsuch.

• Sean Spicer, Minister of Truth, makes us aware of a terrorist attack in Atlanta that never occurred and didn’t happen. Three times.

• Thanks to Trump’s Muslim Ban, a Canadian woman is turned away from the U.S. border after questioned regarding her faith. She was not permitted to enter.

• Sean Spicer, Trump’s fourth fetich soul and demigorgon of weaponized deceit, insists that critics of the Trump-ordered raid in Yemen that resulted in the death of a U.S. soldier and an 8-year old American girl should apologize.

• Trump is revealed to communicate entirely in slogans during diplomatic calls with international heads of state. Almost as if he were a baby-handed imbecile incapable of formulating rational thought and then verbalizing it.

• Evangelicals are turning on Trump with an ad buy, as the full breathtaking scope of his refugee ban becomes understood. Evangelicals are a religious sect of Christianity, a religion founded by a refugee who later became an innocent victim of capital punishment.

• Trump jokes about “destroying” a Pennsylvania State Senator.  The Pennsylvania State Senator politely responds with “Come after me, you shit-gibbon!” 

• Trump “is not bound by all the facts” according to Rick Santorum, whose name shares a fate similar to what will shortly occur with Trump’s.

• The Pope condemns Trump’s planned wall. And how he plans to pay for it.

• Meanwhile, President Steve Bannon is working behind the scenes with a virulently anti-gay cardinal to undermine the Pope.

• Melania Trump, who lives in a golden tower at taxpayer expense, has expressed through her legal team her desire to rake in millions in cash as a result of being First Lady.