Topic Tuesday #123 2014/11/25 - "The Hero"

Topic Tuesday #123 2014/11/25 - "The Hero"

It was like any Tuesday in memory. The man jumped in his car and drove to work. He clocked in just seconds before the hour. So far, so good. The coffee bar was in disarray and the pot was empty. The dulldrum of the morning was going to require coffee so he broke down the coffee maker and got a pot brewing. He cleaned the area while he waited and then poured 2 cups the way he liked them. Off to the cube farm.

Almost at once he was confronted with his supervisor, who looked like hell. "Here, chief." And he handed the second cup to him, "looks like you are about a quart low."

The supervisor, was stunned and the scowl he wore fell away and a seldom seen grin spread wide. Whatever was on his mind was long gone as the cup immediately went to his lips. "Thanks Joe, you've saved the day again!"

Often, we do not realize how egocentric we are. We forget that other people even have their own thoughts and desires. There are times when these microcosims collide and we touch the person behind the mindless drones that inhabit our own worlds. We are all the hero of our own stories, while the others are the Non Player Characters (NPC) that have missions for the hero. Your best friends have personality. Perhaps they are just written better than the other NPCs, or maybe you are all part of a pick up group, about to go off and do something darring.  

Or maybe they are just like you, their own hero, saving the day, one cup of coffee at a time. 

Topic Tuesday #122 2014/11/18 - "Aging Gracefully"

Topic Tuesday #122 2014/11/18 - "Aging Gracefully" 

I just had a birthday, so of course - mortality is on my mind. I choose not to think of all the depth of aging, but on the refinement of dignity. My hair is losing its pigment. Getting out of a comfortable chair is a process, the majority of which is motivation. Working hard on things is still the aim, but certain measures are put into place to put pain at bay; the knee pads, the breaks, the walking around to get circulation going, breathing and hearing protection, snack breaks to keep blood sugar right. 

Basically... I find that as I have aged, I tend to think about how I do the things I do far more than I used to. I do the things I should have been doing all along. Every decision point does have lasting effects on the rest of my day, and if I'm careless, the rest of my life and forever altering the lives around me. 

Perhaps this is wisdom creeping up on me. Perhaps this is what being a responsible person means: looking at the moment and seeing the long term implications. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm still a stupid fallible human that just wants to sit down with friends and a good bottle and piss the night away... I just know that that might not be the BEST use of my time, and the ramifications that will be dealt with the next day... Well... that bottle and those friends better be worth it. Fortunately, part of being wiser, is realizing that even time wasted can be time well spent, as great memories are all the past ought to be.

Cheers!

Yogi was certainly going to have a story for Boo-Boo!

That's not tea they are drinking.

Topic Tuesday #121 2014/11/11 "The Open Letter"

Topic Tuesday #121 2014/11/11 "The Open Letter"

The open letter is not a new phenomenon. Ever since Martin Luther nailed his dissent to the church door, publicly posted letters to a specific entity yet available to anyone, have been making their way throughout human culture. It's an odd thing, as a device. I see it as rather passive aggressive. Others will see it in it's purest form of protest and free speech. Perhaps we are both right. 

One thing about these "letters" is they are designed to shame, at least they try to. I think there is some political value in such a show. Sometimes it can bring the needed attention to the problem it is designed to address. Many times... They are ignored. "To Whom It May Concern" and "Dear John" sometimes all at once. 

I think open letters are remarkably self serving, even if the cause is great. The ability to stump on your soap box is one thing, but to call out an individual or a group... Well.. what else can a little guy do? 

This is one of those times that I find myself slapped in the face with irony. I'm writing about this in a blog that only reaches a small audience, which is completely analogous to a posted open letter or a letter to the editor... 

Touche internet. You have won this round.

Topic Tuesday #120 2014/11/05 "Mid-Term Elections"

Topic Tuesday #120 2014/11/05 "Mid-Term Elections"

Here we are on another election day. I hope that you have done your civic duty and participated in this great experiment of democracy. I know many of you likely did not. Why do I know? Statistics. This is a “Mid-Term” election, defined loosely as an election in the middle of a presidential term. These elections on those off even years are when we typically elect our local representatives. The sixth year of a president’s tenure is typically a time of loss of seats in the House for the president’s party. The only exception for this was Clinton’s Presidency in 1998. They didn’t lose any, didn’t gain any. This is still momentous, and shortly we shall see if the average 6 seat loss holds, or we have another trend bucked.

Of note, the State legislatures present vastly more laws than what we see at the national level. And yet… most of us do not know who our State representatives are, much less the ones we send to D.C.. This is a sad state of affairs since we are being represented… by people who are largely anonymous to us. Over a thousand offices are being filled around the country this year by unopposed candidates. It could be you. Really, it could be you up there, making the calls.

But again, largely we don’t care. We don’t know who these judges are that we are asked to retain or oust. We don’t know the yahoos on the School Board. We hardly even know our own Governors.

That needs to change. Pay attention to the issues and vote. Investigate the issues. Learn. Make a stand. Help others know what is going on.

Vote.

Just vote.

Seriously… These people spend your taxes. Know who they are and hold them accountable.

I’ll see you at the polls.

Topic Tuesday #119 2014/10/28 "Perception As Reality"

Topic Tuesday #119 2014/10/28 "Perception As Reality"

We are amazing. Seriously. Think about your reality. What are you? No matter what your ultimate belief your reality is a marvel. Check this out, and bear with me. 

In the macroscopic view our solar system is orbiting the center of a galaxy that is also spinning around a galactic center. Inside our own star system, our relatively small planet has a thin atmosphere of various gasses and trace minerals. The biosphere that supports the only known life in the universe at this time, is equivalent to the skin of an apple. That peel is just as thick. Below that, it's too hot, perhaps for all but the most extreme forms of life. Above that, there are no nutrients to support life, as we know it. As we continue to draw closer to our own existence in between the "Macro" and the "Micro",  as we exist on what amounts to be a biological spaceship, we are little more than biological robots. I know that sounds odd, but it is a mater of perception. We only experience life through an interpretation of our senses. Sight is processed by our brains, and then interpreted and given meaning by our collected experiences. The same as our other sensations. If we stub our toe on a coffee table in the dark, though it may seem instantaneous, our nervous system still has a speed limit. The strike takes time to make its merry way along our cells to our brains to then be interpreted as "Pain" and then our brains react and send the response back to our motor neurons to yank your foot away from the offending furniture, and begin our slapstick dance around the room while stifling an expletive.

Everything you always wanted to know about sex by Woody Allen

Our consciousness is the captain of a biological spaceship navigating middle earth and middle management. Neuroscience and biology have settled on (for the moment) that consciousness is an emerging property of our brain's architecture. If we alter our neuro-chemistry, our reality changes. LSD, PCP, Marijuana, Peyote, Caffeine, Oxygen Deprivation, Sedatives, Uppers, Opiates, Love, Genetics, Brain Damage... All these things and more change our perception of reality.  In the end, we are only as effective as our information, and all we are is the information we obtain from our senses. Our interpretation of the data is our reactions and feelings and thoughts, and everything that we represent, all that we are.

I like to make an attempt to believe as many true things and as few wrong things as possible. To do that, I have to question reality, and in turn, my perceptions. In this respect, I am ever changeable and changing. I will change my mind based on new input, both good and bad. I hope that everyone does. Keep learning. Keep questioning. Never give up. Keep your hailing frequencies open.

Helm, all ahead full, and watch out for that coffee table.

Topic Tuesday #118 2014/10/21 "Holidays"

Topic Tuesday #118 2014/10/21 "Holidays"

Holidays are most often marked by the passage of time and where they fall on a calendar. We have, through time, become less sensitive to the days they fall upon. Today it was brought to my attention that the Halloween supplies were already on clearance and going back in their shipping container homes. The holiday hasn't even passed and is more than a week away... Christmas decorations are now completely dominant in the big box retail emporiums of misery. Might I remind everyone out there that Thanksgiving is still on the horizon..? This is out of hand. Christmas decorations came out about the same time as the Halloween decorations this year, and the executives have decided that the spirit of holiday shopping needs to get going.

They are taking all the fun out of the holidays, and many of them have some serious issues too. 

At this point, I have decided to rename the holidays. I know it is a big step, but bear with me. 

• New Years Day can stay because it makes perfect sense. 
• Valentines Day is now Heart Day
• Mardis Gras is Bead Day, Fat Tuesday is still acceptable. 
• St. Patricks Day is now Green Day, no offense to the band, but I'm certainly trying to avoid becoming a basket case.
• April Fools Day, Joke Day
• Easter is Bunny and Egg Day.
• Earth Day, Mothers Day, Flag Day, Fathers Day, are simple enough to remain unchanged.
• Independence Day is Firework Day
• Labor Day, Memorial Day, and Veteran's Day are very meaningful but are basically BBQ Day 1, 2, & 3 regardless of how many people try to remind everyone.. 
• Columbus Day should be ignored.
• Halloween is Costume Day
• Thanksgiving is Turkey Day
• Christmas is Tree Day.

There... Enjoy... Maybe someone will actually remember what the holidays are all about but for now get your Halloween... I mean Costume Day, shopping done soon before it's gone.

Topic Tuesday #117 2014/10/14 "Sundays"

Topic Tuesday #117 2014/10/14 "Sundays"

As my readers have likely figured out by now, I'm one of those atheists that you've been warned are angry, sinful, good for nothing heathens. As you might have also figured out, atheists are not really that angry, sinful, or good for nothing. Don't get me wrong, I sin as much as the next theist, but I don't feel guilty about it.  Anyway, something that came to my attention this week was what new apostates do with their Sundays now that they are not tied up in worship. Folks, it might surprise you what atheists do on Sundays.

Most, sleep in. Many will head to a long breakfast in an otherwise uncrowded restaurant beating the after mass rush. Sunday movie matinees are always a treat. Taking care of shopping or housework, are necessary drudgeries. But ya know... Some of those crazy "nones" actually miss the community that comes along with being in a church.

Enter: Sunday Assembly

Stand-up comedians Sanderson Jones and Pippa Evans started the first Sunday Assembly in North London in January 2013. Their project has blossomed into a worldwide movement.

 From their charter:

The Sunday Assembly is a godless congregation that celebrates life. Our motto: live better, help often, wonder more. Our mission: to help everyone find and fulfill their full potential. 

We are here for everyone who wants to:

• Live Better. We aim to provide inspiring, thought-provoking and practical ideas that help people to live the lives they want to lead and be the people they want to be

• Help Often. Assemblies are communities of action building lives of purpose, encouraging us all to help anyone who needs it to support each other

• Wonder More. Hearing talks, singing as one, listening to readings and even playing games helps us to connect with each other and the awesome world we live in

Often these "congregations" are led by members of The Clergy Project. Since March 2011 the Clergy Project has been a confidential online community for current and former religious leaders in vocational ministry, who do not hold supernatural beliefs and are struggling with deconversion and finding Hope after Faith (a book by the first Alumni of the Clergy Project, Jerry Dewitt).

One that occurred near me was reported in the Orlando Sentinel, here is a couple excerpts from attendees. 

"I wanted to come here and find other people who thought the same way I did that you could do good and be good without believing in God," said Diane Gulley, 50.

Atheists don't need God, but they do need community, said Carlo Adair, 36, another Sunday Assembly organizer. It's the gathering of a tribe splintered into the Orlando Humanist Association, Generation Atheists, Black Nonbelievers, Central Florida Freethought Community, Florida Atheists, Critical Thinkers and Skeptics.

They are popping up all over the world. Check out their page, and the sub pages of the individual chapters to see what they are all about.

You may find that the lack of divinity makes the experience all the more human. 

Topic Tuesday #116 2014/10/07 "Common Core”

Topic Tuesday #116 2014/10/07 "Common Core”

Today was my first grader's parent/teacher conference. We talked about the usual about how they were doing, what they were learning and what the obvious obstacles were that had to be overcome. there was an underlying note of frustration from the teacher, but not with my child, or even me. This year she has been dealing with the aftermath of a promise that has not been upheld by her administrators. She was told that "common core would be less broad but more detailed" in it's approach. That she would be diving deeper on certain topics and not broaching others. That was partially true. She is diving much deeper on subjects with first graders than she ever has before, and she has been teaching more broadly also. The work load this poor woman has had to undertake to make this program work is monumental. Most K-12 educators already are famous for working LONG hours. This teacher was at school well before 7AM and wasn't likely to leave until it was time for dinner. I'm thinking a 12 hour day. Everyday. 

Now I am not a luddite, I want new things to be tried. However... I have noticed in my years, and even when I was in k-12 myself as a student that the School Board has a long history of not letting a program run its course to determine if it actually works or not. There is already more talk about scrapping this curriculum than many before it, and we are just a few months in. And I can see why.

Common Core seeks to build a more robust and in depth understanding of educational concepts from the beginning. The program is intended to smooth the path to college by making the knowledge gap between college level courses more equitable. Florida has partnered with American Institutes for Research to build the Common Core curriculum as laid out by the national math, language arts and literacy standards. This is great if it is well balanced and starts at the earliest grades and builds through the education path.

I'm not seeing the implementation as having the right fit, yet. The demands on our young kids are pretty severe and in turn the teachers that are expected to make it work are even worse. How do you teach a child a math problem that is all words when the child hasn't learned to read well enough to get through the question? How do you expect an enormous vocabulary of reading and writing that balloons weekly when the kids who are losing all their baby teeth are having trouble with certain sound combinations? It's frustrating, and kids this age have enough problems with frustration without setting them up for failure. 

I am willing to see this through, as I see the underpinnings are teaching not what to think as much as how to think about what they are learning. That is wonderful. My fear is that this will be scrapped and the progress that has been made will be stymied by another dramatic shift in how we are expecting to teach, and how we are expected to learn. Children need stability, and I wish someone would see that as best for the children and implement changes for an entire "crop" of kids. Starting at Kindergarten, make that education method the same through 12th. If there is a change in the method, address it with the next year's Kindergarteners and watch it go. Though there are many arguments against this approach, and rightly so, I would greatly like to see what happens if a plan is allowed to work from beginning to end...

Topic Tuesday #115 2014/09/30 "How do you say, ‘I’m Sorry’?”

Topic Tuesday #115 2014/09/30 "How do you say, ‘I'm Sorry’?”                   

Continuing my series on language arts and the art of language, I would like to address a vital component of human communication: the apology.

It has been said it takes a big man to say they're sorry. Misogynistic societal tendencies aside, it really does take an effort to push ego aside and admit to being wrong. This is very much the intersection of simple definitions and the larger implied meaning behind them.

Of course the simple definition is understood by all over the age of 2 (or ought to be). To feel badly about something you did or to have empathy towards the suffering of another.  The complication of the implied meaning is that of a personal failing or weakness; accepting blame. This can be  tall order for just about anyone. I know getting my kids to say they are sorry, and actually mean it, is quite the task. I am enormously proud when they present genuine remorse and feel bad about injury to someone not themselves.

To the matter at hand, it is difficult to bring one to the act of admitting they are sorry/remorseful/at fault/etc.. I have found through the years that simply swallowing my pride and doing it as quickly as possible has the best risk/reward characteristics. You get it over with quickly and then you don't have to let it eat at you until you do admit it. Certainly this is not the case for some, and languishing in guilt does not take nearly the toll it does on me. For those people, perhaps a little forced empathy is a better solution, and getting into the habit of asking yourself, “How would it feel if it were me on the other end?” can be a valuable path to tread.

In the end, sometimes you have to apologize to yourself on behalf of other people. Many will never realize their own offense and will carry on as if nothing has ever happened. In these cases, you owe it to yourself to forgive, as you are the one that will benefit from it the most. Forgiveness, much like funerals, are for the living, and once someone is gone from your life, it will be up to you to say “I’m sorry” even if it only matters to you. You deserve peace, as much as anyone.

To those that I have offended, I implore you to forgive me, as I am not likely to say I’m sorry since it was not my intention to offend. Please forgive my ignorance and allow the ax you bear in your heart to fall to the ground and turn to dust. My father said once upon a time, “Don’t bother with grudges. While you are sulking, the other guy’s out dancing.”

Topic Tuesday #114 2014/09/23 "I’d Like to Have an Argument, Please.”

Topic Tuesday #114 2014/09/23 "I’d Like to Have an Argument, Please.”

Continuing my series on language arts, I’d like to have an argument. This is sometimes a difficult proposition. Most ‘normal’ people do not like arguing, and will actively avoid it. BUT we are in the information age. We no longer have to pay one pound for a five minute argument; we have the INTERNET!

To continue quoting Monty Python

M: An argument isn't just contradiction.

O: Well! it CAN be!

M: No it can't!

M: An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.

O: No it isn't!

M: Yes it is! 'tisn't just contradiction.

O: Look, if I *argue* with you, I must take up a contrary position!

M: Yes but it isn't just saying 'no it isn't'.

O: Yes it is!

M: No it isn't!

O: Yes it is!

M: No it isn't!

O: Yes it is!

M: No it ISN'T! Argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of anything the other person says.

O: It is NOT!

M: It is!

Now, the British are long held as the masters of polite conflict, perhaps only matched by the passive aggressiveness of the Amish and the LDS church. Any session of British Parliament is rife with this style of argumentation. It’s great fun to watch and listen to but it’s absolutely worthless beyond a laugh.

“Argument” is actually only a component of a larger enterprise, that of debate. When confronted with a situation that necessitates verbal pugilism, what you absolutely must keep in mind - is your goal. Are you just being contrary? Then carry on as ham fisted as you like… However… If you want to actually win minds, you need to argue with purpose; that takes skill.
This is where all the things you know about talking to people comes into play. All your skills at listening and communicating are taken to task in a real honest argumentative debate. Imagine the fights you had with your parents or classmates or teachers when you were growing up. All the anger that you had versus their stoic and unmoving obviously wrong opinions. Did you listen to their side? Did the focus of the argument get lost with yelling? Did they even have a side or just slam the proverbial door with “BECAUSE I SAID SO!”? This is the end of an attempted argument; sadly, one that neither side could ever hope to win with logic and reason. 

What does a great argument look like? One that works for all parties?

Some key elements of proper conflict resolution consist of:

• Each side stating their case, preferably calmly, rationally, and respectfully, to parties that actively listen to the elements of the case.
• Further clarification is offered when questions warrant such.
• Analysis of positions is accomplished within the individuals.
• Compromise is offered and countered, and re-countered until…
• An equitable resolution is reached for both parties.

There are some problems with the above idyllic example. There are many times that one side is simply wrong, and they refuse to yield their position. Both sides may be in the wrong and a compromise does not bring either party closer to a best case scenario. Seldom does anything have a completely black or white solution. Get used to the grey area and not always getting your way, but try hard to keep your focus. Many arguments have been lost when the topic was changed out from under you. Some people you can’t reach with respectful arguments and you will either need to use a different tactic, or cut your losses and walk away.

Keep Calm and Carry On.

Topic Tuesday #113 2014/09/16 "Originality"

Topic Tuesday #113 2014/09/16 "Originality"

Continuing the theme of language and communication, today let's chat about being original. 

In ye olde times when language was young and the populace was largely illiterate it was remarkably flexible. Words would flow from mouth to ear thus changing the way they sounded the next time they were uttered. By where and whom a phrase was spoken, would inflict the culture of the region on the meaning of the words used. Slowly technology stepped in to slow down the diverging babble. The jeweler Gutenberg and his typeset press made it so language had permanence. Most notable is the Bible. So much of our language today is derived from this tomb that it is easy to reconcile its lasting nature as a cultural cornerstone. Other works followed the scriptures.

Outside of this, as people become slowly more literate, a new concept was born out of an old tradition. Literary license. At the Globe Theatre in London, William Shakespeare (or Christopher Marlowe or  Francis Bacon, if you believe such conspiracies) wrote a volume of work that stands to this day as remarkable. Hit turn of phrase was without match and what really sets him apart in my mind is his inventiveness at creating new words. All in all, he crafted over 1,700 of our modern words. He verbed nouns, turned verbs into adjectives and cobbled together prefixes and suffix that had not business being wedded to prior words. When that failed to suit the needs he would manifest them from nothing and create something wholly original. For some in depth analysis of some of these, browse over to www.shakespeare-online.com/biography/wordscoined.html Some examples of my favorite Shakespearian words, which you might not have known owe their origin to the playwrite and master poet: 

Arouse, Addiction, amazement, bedroom, blushing, circumstantial, champion, dauntless, compromise, eyeball, gossip, gloomy, luggage, jaded, hint, fixture, obscene, laughable, grovel, scuffle, swagger, majestic, mimic, outbreak, radiance, obsequiously, and one of my all time favorites, rant.

The reconstructed Globe Theatre, London.

Obviously not everyone can be so original, but one must also look at the context for how Shakespeare's magic words were seeded into the vox populi. He relied on word of mouth, at the Globe, to spread the words and their meanings to the people, the common people. They entered everyday use rather quickly, being the cool thing to do at the time. It wouldn't take long for that to happen given how quickly our own society parrots whatever the best one liners were from the latest Saturday Night Live or blockbuster flick.In his day, his words were like a virus, and the contagion infected the language and peppers our pages today. He was bold and original and then made permanent in the mind and in print.  

I say this to you, be generous with your words. make then varied and vaulting. If you cannot find a word that fits, MAKE ONE UP! Be original. Make Shakespeare proud.

Topic Tuesday #112 2014/09/09 "Active Listening"

Topic Tuesday #112 2014/09/09 "Active Listening"

Think about what you want to achieve in a conversation.

What does it mean to listen to a person? You don't really have to invest much of your energy in the exchange. Listening is usually a passive action. Or is it?

Hearing what someone says is not the same as listening. To listen, you must engage the speaker. I'm not talking a bear hug or a death stare; you just have to pay attention and think about what is being said. Typical active listening behavior is characterized by feedback towards a mutual understanding. A subtle regurgitation of the information to illustrate that you have comprehended the information being shared; this is critical, and also a trap.

Let me explain the trap. You have likely encountered poor listeners. I'm not referring to those that just sit silently - nodding their head and not responding and carrying on like you didn't say anything at all;  I'm speaking of those that listen with only the intent to talk. There is only the most superficial listening involved in that attitude and it is paired with a form of narcissism. 

Of course, given that I am yakking it up on a blog, and have a podcast, there may be a degree of that behavior in myself, so feel free and take anything I say with a grain of salt. A big grain.

Some people are also poor speakers. If you combine a poor listener with a poor speaker, you may as well be pouring oil on water. If your aim in speaking is only to vent, you DO NOT WANT an active listener... You want a slightly responsive brick wall. As valuable as venting is, it has a place, and it can be difficult for either party to shift gears into more meaningful conversations from a venting posture. Let me add that listening to someone vent, can be illuminating; you may have to parse that information differently, as many people do not actually want constructive input... It may seem strange, but it is true. They want to talk, but not actually get help. It is a form of therapy, and you can feel secure in knowing that just listening is helping.

This can cause enormous problems. You have multiple tactics to use in your communication tool kits, and now you have to learn the right tool for the right job. 

My advice... And again, take it with a grain of salt, as your individual mileage may vary... 

Pay attention, and show that you are. Make eye contact (except for some people, who feel threatened by such attentions), ask for clarification on things you do not understand, try not to fidget and provide body language that indicates your participation. Relating things to your own experiences can work, however try not to talk too much about yourself. It can be hard to be engaged and yet neutral. Sometimes you don't need or even should not be neutral, other times, you have to be. Dealing with people is always a challenge.  You never know when there will be a pop quiz and you have to act. You may not be required to always be active, but it is a great idea to gather all the knowledge you can. Forming an accurate picture of your partner in conversation is the key to a successful exchange, even if that exchange has you acting as a brick wall. Remember the phrase, "If walls could talk" and chuckle to yourself (in private) and keep listening for your quiz at the end.

Topic Tuesday #111 2014/09/02 "Conversation"

Topic Tuesday #111 2014/09/02 "Conversation"

The world we live in is filled with words and ideas, deeds and adventures, happiness and woe. The great thing about being human is that we do not need to personally have to go through every one of these emotions or circumstances to understand and empathise. We have language. We can tell stories and sing songs and even gesticulate along as if we ever figured out how to master charades. But all this is about communication, and that brings me to the fine, and sometimes lost, art of conversation.
Conversation follows certain protocol. This is another arcane phenomena, Etiquette. Now this etiquette is essential in keeping a conversation going to the desired end, or resolution depending on your aim. You must be mindful of your manners. Be courteous and appropriate. Essentially, a great conversation is one that is had in the bounds of talking to a beloved great aunt, whom you don't want to wash your mouth out with soap. 

Not all of us can put aside our heated emotions and just talk about things, for a really good conversation you still require some emotions to keep the fire stoked. Some conversations are very difficult to have. Even starting conversations can be a flustering nightmare of what if scenarios, especially if it is important. A boss, an interview, a first date - or worse, the icebreaker. 

Now... I am not a master of conversation and I can and will step on my own tongue if given the opportunity. What I am is patient. My brain can have quips flying pretty fast, but I have learned that I need to slow down a little, and to worry a lot less. You will worry more about the things you never got the chance to say than the conversation that you have because of it. Just keep in mind, that your opinions stink. So does everyone elses. Don't be too much of anything: be it boastful, proud, arrogant, ingratiating, forward, direct, terse, or quiet. The last one is tricky, since next weeks topic may just be active listening,  your homework will be to go have a conversation with a complete stranger, about something other than the weather, health, politics, or religion. Those are advanced topics that require care to execute properly, without getting into another topic, the fine are of arguing. 

Topic Tuesday #110 2014/08/26 "The Power of Words"

Topic Tuesday #110 2014/08/26 "The Power of Words"

Over the last couple weeks I have been discussing word use with friends and my children. There are magical words in the world tat when used properly can pander to favorable outcomes, or conversely, get you into some serious trouble.
My 6 year old has become fond of a negative word, "hate". I am trying hard to tell her to save that word for things that are actually worthy of it. Hate is a powerful word. I dare say it is more powerful, properly used, than any obscenity you can imagine. All someone has to do to ruin your day and forever alter your perception of them is to utter a magical incantation. Be careful how you use this, and use it sparingly. Here it is. "I hate, you!"
Thankfully this incantation has not been directed my way, by my offspring. But it could. I want her to know the meaning behind that word and many others. It is hard since the dictionary only give definitions, and not visceral meanings behind words, phrases and colloquialisms.
Take another powerful and clumsily wielded word, "crazy".
To the average person, this is a basic word used to describe something that happened, or possibly the actions and demeanor of another person, or their own actions while getting wild or something along those lines. To those that are suffering mental illness, that word is a label of personal failure. This is unfortunate and perhaps we can attempt to be more sensitive. Some people have decided to own their crazy. They wear it as a badge of distinction and like a calling card.
Here's the thing about words. They all have meanings. The interesting words have a rich history. Derogatory and inflammatory remarks are just words with an idea behind them. The question you have to ask yourself is if being offended matters.
I suggest that it does not matter in the least. If someone tries to get under your skin, if you let them, they win. It was their game, and they made you play and made you lose. Don't play other people's games. Being offended is up to the one that is offended. It does not affect anyone else, unless they have to deal with you while you are offended. It can be hard to let these slights go, but you win their game if you do.
Offending people is a bitter and childish things to do. It makes you a very small person with equally small ideas. That said, I'm sure I have offended people. I don't particularly care about that. Offending a group of people does not concern me, especially when all I am doing is expressing a viewpoint. On a one to one basis, I never want to hurt anyone. I choose my words in ways that remove personal allusions. If you offend the person you are talking to you are no longer having a conversation, you are doing damage control and you fail whatever your mission was.
Elevate your language and respect the individual. But remember, it is up to you to be offended by the power of words.

Topic Tuesday #109 2014/08/19 "Aviation and Education"

Topic Tuesday #109 2014/08/19 "Aviation and Education"

Today is Aviation Day. Yeah, I didn't even know there was such a "holiday".

Aviation Day falls on and commemorates the birthday of Orville Wright. Federal buildings in America may be required to fly the US flag on this day at presidential whim in order to promote the day, and general interest in aviation. https://www.daysoftheyear.com/days/aviation-day/

This week, for my school district at least, was the first day of school for my children. So as they are out of the house and learning their letters, numbers and school yard politics, please be a little more careful on the roads. 

That's all. Short one this week, as I prepare for a heavy topic on the podcast. 

Topic Tuesday #108 2014/08/12 "Robin Williams' Suicide"

Topic Tuesday #108 "Robin Williams' Suicide"

There is so much to say about Robin Williams' death. I, like many, were taken off guard and rightly flattened by the icons passing. Memories of the most jovial person I can think of, tempered with the deepest and saddest figures from his films rattle off each other in my mind. The Fisher King, Dead Poets Society, Goodwill Hunting, What Dreams May Come, Good Morning Vietnam, Hook, One Hour Photo, Jumanji, Popeye, Aladdin, Comic Relief, Mork and Mindy... His diversity in his acting and comedy showed his own personal diversity. His struggles through life made him, and eventually destroyed him. 
There is a saying that I took to when I was battling my own depression. "Fake it, till you make it." The trouble is, even after you make it, you still have to fake some of it. 
There are those out there that do not understand depression. They have never had the war of wills with their own reflection and their own subconscious to keep moving... To just get out of bed and face the next room, much less the world. It is an illness. A chemical imbalance. A conditioned response like post traumatic stress... These are the real demons. Robin had issues and had been dealing with them for a very long time. His drug and alcohol issues beyond being a troubling addiction, were probably also to mask the pain, and to escape through self medication. The mental health care system in this country has come a long way since labeling returning veterans of the great war (WW1) as suffering from "shell shock". We know now that it was post traumatic stress, PTSD. We have a myriad of chemicals to help coaxs our psyches into a bit of normalcy...but we still have a stigma. The stigma of crazy. It prevents people from openly getting help and locking themselves in a proverbial closet with only their inner demons to keep them company. There is no magic, pharmaceutical or otherwise, to make us better, only to get us by. Personally, I was prescribed a medication that helped. And let me tell you... I didn't know how much I missed me. When you find a cocktail that will help, the difference is staggering. The cliché veil being lifted is so damn appropriate, that I can't think.of better and certainly not less overused. Depression changes how you see everything. It is horrible and destructive. Escape. Escape is all you can focus on besides the bizarre pain and anguish of feeling broken. It's not selfish, when you actively believe your death would be the best thing for everyone. The guilt of living overwhelms the guilt of causing pain by shuffling off this mortal coil. It makes a morbid sense. You convince yourself that everyone wins. It is darkly logical, from the perspective of the truly depressed. This is serious. Anyone reading this that has had these thoughts, please, go seek assistance. Talk to people. Talk to me if you need someone, preferably before you get as far as death seeming logical...

If you hit that point... Call the national suicide hotline (800) 273-8255. They are trained to help navigate this painful situation. No matter how many things you have tried, there is always another way. Always. 
Never choose a permanent solution for a temporary problem. 
For more talk about mental health, check out the OrlyRadio Podcast - Show 20. 

Topic Tuesday #107 2014/08/05 "Some Assembly Required"

Topic Tuesday #107 2014/08/05 "Some Assembly Required"

Today is a day I have been waiting for for a very long time, so even though there are many things in the world I would like to talk about, I can't bring myself to do anything but take pictures and grab a screwdriver. My RigidBot 3D printer has arrived!

I backed the RigidBot KickStarter May 10th, 2013. They had some issues with the manufacturing process and quality control from their China mass production vendors. I don't mind, as life has been plenty busy in between and with age comes a greater degree of patience. That said... I'm outta here like a kid on a new bike at Christmas! See you next week!

Nice custom injection molded Styrofoam packaging.

Layer 1, power supply, stepper motors instructions, etc.

Layer 2, PLA Material, custom cover, and spooler rack.

Layer 3, bottom. Pretty much all the heavy stuff.

@rigidbot @CowenServices

Topic Tuesday #106 2014/07/29 "Customer Service"

Topic Tuesday #106 2014/07/29 "Customer Service"

The customer is not always right. The customer, in spite of their obvious shortcomings, is vital to any business, but seldom "right". That is one of those easy to say staff motivationals to get people to try to work with unreasonable persons. Let's be honest with ourselves...

Depending on what I'm shopping for I am a consumer armed in one of three ways.

1) I have more information than anyone should about a product or even an entire market segment.

2) I may have just enough information to be dangerous. Or...

3) I may be an idiot in search of a village.

These three positions are mimicked with astonishing acumen by the damned souls charged with dealing with customers. It is hard to determine what the customer service representative would prefer from the consumer. As the consumer I always prefer an expert on the other end of the exchange. This may be because I am a particular type of consumer. I always want to do things on my own. This makes me the over informed consumer and nearly intolerant of what I will refer to as Level 1 Customer Service. I can only presume that Level 1, hates people such as myself. In my defense, I try to bypass the lower levels whenever possible, but often the gatekeepers have a script with particular metrics and regulations that they MUST follow.

In this type of interaction, the recent kerfuffle with Comcast comes to mind {https://m.soundcloud.com/ryan-block-10/comcastic-service}, the script is terrible. The best thing that you can hope for, is someone that can figure out the best solution for both the customer and the company on heir own. This is not as easy as it sounds, as the customer is not always "right"; but they "know" they are... 

This is highly subjective. The term "right" is always dependent on the point of view. From the perspective of the customer, anything the company they are dealing with does that costs them money or time is bad. As it happens, this is the same view that the corporations hold. Both are at odds from the outset, so if you find a place that treats you well, they have determined something more valuable than that single terse encounter. Repeat business, from happy customers, is good.

Oh and something else, in the information age, bad news really does travel around the world before the truth gets its pants on. Twitter has changed the face of customer service. Some interactions are what you would hope to see. A complaint with a positive response from corporate. However in the case of an airline that was not allowing a priority customer to have his small children board along with him (I thought small children were supposed to board first to get them settled... weird.) and he said how unhappy he was and that he was going to call them out (quite literally the service agent) on Twitter. So, rather than diffuse the situation by just letting the man making a scene get on the plane with his kids which seems like the actual policy, they pulled him off the plane, and demanded he deleted the tweet or have the cops called. Seriously... The airline (Southwest) gave him a $50 travel voucher for the the inconvenience, which will go to waste since he never plans to fly with them again. EVER. Now... he didn't have to vent so publicly, and shame the agent being a douche. Especially since the douche agent may have simply thought they were doing their job before hand and was then confronted with a public relations nightmare that could have had their job ended. This stresses people out! So though deplorably extortionist, I can see the desire to erase the object of their impending doom. But that could have been done by just letting the kids get on the freaking plane. The escalation was uncalled for, on both sides, in my opinion. But... his story is quite convincing. http://abcnews.go.com/US/family-booted-off-southwest-airlines-dad-tweeted-rude/story?id=24685645

Comcast, and many communication companies, seems to have an adverse reaction to actual communication with customers. The phone trees are a nightmare. I, and many others, have needed to call telecommunication providers and avoided it for months - just due to dread and not wanting to spend my entire day on the phone getting progressively more upset. This frustration is exacerbated further by knowing a thing or three about what their jobs entail. Something is wrong.

You have already done the troubleshooting steps.

They want you to go through the script again.

And again.

Oh... and again.  

I have come to the point of just saying all the steps I have done and asking for an escalation immediately upon getting a human on the other end. Sometimes that works, but I am always transferred multiple times. As for the poor saps on the other end...  I am sorry that you have a job that you obviously detest and seems to be sucking your life essence our of your orifices. But... I just wanted to modify my account... I either wanted to get more product from you and/or give you more money... OR... now I just want to terminate my account, and very nearly your/my life.

In the world of customer service... NO ONE is "right", but we are all mostly pissed off.

Topic Tuesday #105 2014/07/22 "Orwellian"

Topic Tuesday #105 2014/07/22 "Orwellian"

Ingsoc (English Socialism), is the regnant ideology and pseudophilosophy of Oceania

War is peace.

Freedom is slavery.

Ignorance is strength.

1984, written by George Orwell and published in 1949, is the quintessential dystopian novel. There are some fascinating political concepts that are critical to the work. Manipulation, omnipresent surveillance, perpetual war, historic revisionism. Thoughtcrime, as a concept, was not new to Orwell. Nor was the concept of Big Brother. It's easy to make parallels to historic events, people, places, and the story itself.  As we approach the 30th anniversary of this novel, we have sadly seen many of the concepts put into practice.

For instance, the NSA prevalent global surveillance efforts exposed by Edward Snowden.

We can look to North Korea for a Big Brother figure in their Supreme Leader.

The United States has technically been involved in a state of conflict (even if WAR was not declared, the body count sure continued to escalate), since it declared independence from Great Britain, with an exception during the extreme isolationism of the Great Depression in 1935-40. To be conservative, 21 years have had no "real" war like activities since 1776. Highly debatable. 

The working poor have always represented a form of indentured servitude in the world, especially when we look at fully socialized systems that Orwell was involved in. The wage slaves are free to make their narrow range of choices.

And the ignorance... Oh the ignorance... It is amazing how so many people believe whatever is served up by their favorite talking head pundit about world events, economics, and what to buy. It is remarkable how similar the world we live in now is to the Orwellian existence of  Winston Smith.

Don't forget the oxymoronic and yet fitting Ministry of Peace (War), Ministry of Plenty (Rations goods), Ministry of Truth (controls information and edits history), and the Ministry of Love (which monitors, arrests, and tortures/alters dissidents.) The theme is continued in the language of Newspeak combined with Doublethink and Doublespeak, where words have dual meanings that are not only contradictory but exist and are meant simultaneously. 

The work is so iconic, it took on a life of it's own in the term, "Orwellian". As an adjective it describes it's targeted noun with looming official deception, secret pervasive surveillance and manipulation of the facts by a authoritarian/totalitarian/all powerful state government/agency.

In a world (this one by the way and said in the movie trailer voice), where we can predict many behaviors (and may be approaching the ability to read minds) the godlike ability to read your mind and rout out "thoughtcrimes" becomes a real fear. When all your email is read, calls are recorded, movements monitored, and certain agencies rewrite history books for our children, it is not difficult to make comparisons and think that someone has been using the novel as a playbook, and not the warning that it clearly was to a rational person.

1984 has another great thing going for it. It has been on banned book lists and legally challenged for being "subversive" and "corrupting". This makes me smile, as it is ironic, given the content of the book.  

Remember kids, read your banned books!

Big Brother is watching.

Topic Tuesday #104 2014/07/15 "Voyeurism: Why We Like To Watch"

Topic Tuesday #104 2014/07/15 "Voyeurism: Why We Like To Watch"

Human beings are natural pattern seeking animals. What does that have to do with the voyeurism? Simple; you have to observe to recognize a pattern. Given the shape and structure of our brains, it can be concluded that humans are very visual creatures. Our eyes being front facing and spaced to give a sense of depth, indicate we are keen on focusing our vision on points of interest. If we go down the "predatory", or conversely "prey", avenues, we can readily draw correlations to the benefits of an evolved observation of a target, to find patterns that are relevant to either attack or escape, or whatever your proclivity may be. 

We are all "wired" in similar ways, but we have a multitude of differences in what drives us. For some people, and I posit all people to a degree, like to watch other people. One of my hobbies is people watching. The best places to people watch are places with a lot of people and highly emotionally charged spaces. Take a theme park; thousands of people, all paying around $100 each to be there, to (in theory) have fun. Funny how people act when they are under pressure (financial, expectations, etc.) to enjoy themselves. The kids do, because it is what they do, until they burn out or are told "NO". Watching the parents is an exercise in human nature. I find it absolutely fascinating. This detached nature of observation, I have found, is shared by many people. In others, it goes beyond the detached. 

Voyeurism, as defined by Hirschfeld, M. (1938). Sexual anomalies and perversions: Physical and psychological development, diagnosis and treatment (new and revised edition), is the sexual interest in or practice of spying on people engaged in intimate behaviors, such as undressing, sexual activity, or other actions usually considered to be of a private nature.

This first part of the definition from 1938, puts a stigma on what may be a perfectly natural impulse. The last part, is more like the movie Rear Window or my people watching at theme parks. Let me be clear, the desire to watch other people, for whatever reason is not inherently bad or taboo, but if you make peep holes and plant cameras around the object of your desire, you have likely stepped over the line... unless you have a warrant for surveillance.

Today, we all revel in voyeurism. It's the most popular thing on television. Reality TV is nothing more than voyeurism. Shows like Survivor, The Real World, Survivor Man, and so on, though produced and often scripted, fill the need in our brains to analyze what pattern the participants will reveal. Did the one you thought demonstrated the best overall fitness gain immunity or get voted off the island? If you picked a side, you were participating in the spectacle, investing brain power to finding the winner.

Voyeurism is a primal and vital part of what we are. Some have it a little reversed and enjoy being watched, opposed to being the watcher. The exhibitionist is the natural subject to the voyeur. It's a fascinating relationship that we have with each other, and thankfully, as long as you do not break anyone's personal privacy rights, everyone can explore their proclivities with impunity. 

Small factoid for you to take away, "Scopophobia" is a fear of being stared at. Not very good if you have a career on stage or screen.